The Playboy Morning Show… and Tell!

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Wednesday 2/26/14

It’s another hot ‘n steamy Morning Show to get you over the hump…

Things began here with a discussion about new research that ranks states in the order of longest average sexual encounter to shortest. New Mexico (surprisingly) has the longest sex on average, and Alaska has the shortest. We invited people to call in and assert whether they thought their state was robbed or if they were accurately measured… but most people just wanted to ask Andrea to show her underwear. We’re trying to do science here, people!

We moved on from there into an Upskirt Tutorial, which involved our super hot models coming in and demonstrating the rules and various ways to take a fabulous shot up your own (or your consenting friend’s) dress. We didn’t know there were so many factors involved in this “art,” but you really have to know your way around a camera phone (and flowing skirts).

Next, we watched two more Best Picture-nominated Topless Trailer Reviews (from women who haven’t seen the movie). Today we looked at “Dallas Buyer’s Club” and “Nebraska,” and let us tell you… these ladies were not impressed by these films trailers, giving these two movies some of the lowest scores yet. And who are you going to believe, a bunch of cinema “experts,” or a pair of topless ladies?

After a short break, we welcomed in Kim Airs, a sexual consultant and sex toy expert to talk about some of the ways she approaches teaching people about their own sexuality. It even involved a scary talking vagina puppet, so you know it’s gonna be good. While we had Kim in with us, we wanted to get her opinion on some food-related sex toys that can help the guy who burned himself while making love to a Domino’s Pizza. We brought out our Cock-cumber, Man-wich, Ham-cuffs, and Shish-ka-throb and asked Kim’s expert opinion. The shish-ka-throb was definitely her favorite, and we’re inclined to agree with her. She’s the one with the talking vagina pillow, after all.

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Tuesday 2/25/14

It’s just another Tuesday in paradise here at the Mini Mansion.

We started off the show today by giving you a Topless Ten list, this time around for the new Milk slogan. They’ve done away with the famous “Got Milk?” ads, and the time is ripe to give them our suggestions. All ten of our ideas are winners, so don’t be surprised if “Milk Me” or “It’s Liquid Cheese” is the next big slogan.

After that, we saw another one of our awesome Topless Movie Trailer Reviews, featuring hot models who haven’t seen the movie. Today we looked at “Philomena” and “Wolf of Wall Street,” in an effort to help the academy know which trailers convey the story best.

Next, we talked on the phone with Ravi of the “Mile Low Club” submarine excursion, where you can have a romantic getaway under the sea. If you’ve never had sex 20,000 leagues below, step up your game and get on the ship, mate.

In honor of getting it on beneath the waves, we had our lovely models Victoria, Kate, Toryn, and Destiny play a round of Truth or Bare: Transportation Edition! All the girls’ stories involved sex on some form of transport, and let’s just say that sometimes you don’t even need to stop to get it going. As the girls fooled Kevin and Andrea, they got to pick paints to use in the next segment…

After the break, we came back to Skype with Sally Golan, who hosts naked paint parties in New York, and is even beginning to tour it around North America. As we talked about these super sexy neon black light affairs, we watched our models paint each other with their paints they earned during Truth or Bare.

Once they were good and painted up, they ran over to our totally awesome rave-tastic black light room and showed off their new looks and their dance moves, too. It almost makes us wonder if we couldn’t do an entire show in black light… We think it could look pretty cool.

Monday 2/24/14

Happy Monday, all! Let’s get to the show…

We started this week afresh, and in its honor we installed the first ever Playboy Morning Show Kiss Cam to shoot around our offices and force people to make out in front of a large crowd. Good thing most of the people who work here are hot chicks.

After that, it was time to bring out the craziest nude stories from around the world, and tell you if they are Good Naked or Bad Naked. As a rule, anytime you bring up the Penis Museum, you can tell it’s going to be good.

Next, we welcomed in comedian and author Geoff Keith to talk about his book “Guys Have No Game.” Geoff also happens to be on “Jerks with Cameras,” on MTV and before we welcomed in his two co-pranksters, we wanted to turn the tables on them. We let Geoff help us out, and let him in on the joke, which was that we were holding a sexy blind chick pageant.

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After the break, we brought in Kara Ruiz and Grant Cotter, two of the pranksters on “Jerks With Cameras,” to join Geoff on the couch. We let them believe that they were going to be judging a Sexy Blind Chick pageant, with talent rounds and Q and A, before ultimately filling them in. They actually looked pretty surprised, so we’ll call this one a win.

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