Take Your Cyber Stalking on the Road With Bump.com
Have you ever seen an attractive woman stuck in traffic and thought to yourself “man, I wish I could take down her license plate number and use that information to make her life a living hell of unsolicited text messages and unwanted sexual advances”? Well fantasize no longer, you creepy bastard, for your dreams have finally come true!
A new social network called Bump.com turns your license plate number into everything from a phone number to a buyer’s reward card using nothing more than a Bump enabled smart phone and a little bit of assistance from state of the art technology that will in no way turn into a means of illicit government spying (we hope).
Why do we need this? Well, according to Bump.com founder Mitchell Thrower, “the license plate has never given the consumer anything.” Clearly, he’s never seen our IMHIRU vanity plate, which netted us 15 traffic stops in the span of eight days and an eventual jail stint for marijuana possession and drunk driving.
Among the disturbing as shit benefits for those desperate enough for attention to actually sign up include cameras that can read up to five license plates per second at 150 mph. This allows for easy check in at hotels and sporting events, not to mention the very real possibility that a rogue software program could embroil you in a real life version of Eagle Eye, that Shia LeBouf movie that nobody saw.
But it gets better! A smart phone app allows users to scan license plate numbers and send messages via text to the owner of that plate. Road rage has never been so easy! Unfortunately, a filter prevents the transmission of profanity, but really, if you send a text that says “nice driving fukcface” chances are the recipient will know what it means. (For the record, it means that they should pop the trunk and let off a few rounds into your passenger side door, tough guy.)
Do we even need to mention the romantic possibilities to be found when a license plate number is all you need to get in contact with someone? In the video below, a smoking hot chick sees a dude in traffic, scans his plate and within moments they’re chatting on the phone about the best time to get together and add fuel to the already raging herpes epidemic.
With a little help from Bump.com and a whole lot of disregard for sharing your personal information with untold numbers of strangers, you could be just like that lucky guy or girl!
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“Take Your Cyber Stalking on the Road With Bump.com”
1:17 pm on October 13th, 2010
I disagree. This will not promote stalking…your license plate is out there for everyone to see at any given time. BUMP seems like a cool idea!
1:39 am on May 24th, 2011
This is the most horrible idea ever!
3:50 pm on June 18th, 2011
This is the most idiotic, not to mention dangerous, thing I have seen since facebook. I’m sure the same hoards of morons who flock to facebook will want to be ‘bumped’ all the time as well. Along with getting bumped, they likely get ‘reported’, ‘turned-in’, ‘stalked’, ‘harassed’, have their identity stolen… not to mention crooks stealing the database from bump.com (oh won’t that be fun!). Seriously, people who use and make shit like this are f’ing morons. I wonder if these same people bother putting curtains on their windows… if so why? What’s there to hide anymore?