In our continuing effort to bring you the sexiest of sexy, The Smoking Jacket has launched a new feature, The Week in Sexy Advertising. It’s written by Steve Hall who publishes Adrants, a site that writes about marketing, advertising and the use of sex as a selling point.
We won’t discuss the business of advertising much because, well, that’s just boring. But we will bring you a weekly round up advertising’s best eye candy.
1. Ice Cream Unleashes Breasts
Who knew ice cream was so hot? So hot that it rips a shirt off a guy’s chest. So hot that it melts a woman’s high heeled shoes. So hot it melts a necklace. So hot it melts the straps of a woman’s dress unleashing her breasts from the confines of her gown allowing them to burst forth in tantalizing slow motion as the camera….wait…where were we? Oh, sorry. Yea, this is an ice cream commercial for Nestle’s Joya.
2. 15-Year-Old Mentality + Naked Cheerleaders = Beer Ad
Let’s be clear right up front. This is a terrible ad. Not because it pokes fun at the wandering attention span of men when faced with the choice of listening to one’s spouse prattle on about paint colors or ogling hot women in bikinis teasingly caressing each other. No. But because it looks like it was produced inside the mind of a 15 year old boy in heat peeping through a hole into the girls locker room where the cheerleading squad is in various stages of undress suiting up for their football game appearance. Of course, none of this means we can’t appreciate it for its hotness.
3. Watch Lara Stone Have Sex on the Dance Floor
With an intensely clubby feel and what appears to be a bit of exhibitionist sex, CK One is introducing a new fragrance, Shock. The video features gap-toothed hottie Lara Stone and a collection of shirtless guys with ripped abs on a dance floor clawing at each other like animals in heat.
4. Club Seat Girls Return With More Gyrating Bootyliciousness
The Club Seat girls are back! Just as they did last year, the bikini-clad girls offer up tantalizing, slow-motion gyrations as the camera zooms in upon the wiggling bootyliciousness all to pimp Club Seat, a promotional entity of Volkswagen Group UK which hosts special events around the globe.
5. Pamela Anderson Launches Lingerie Line
Remember Pamela Anderson? Of course you do! Running down the beach at the beginning of Baywatch hoping her breasts would bounce like every other woman’s until you realized they were fake and immobile. Well, the quality of her implants seems to have improved over the years and you can see some of her curves in a campaign for her new lingerie line, Pamela Couture Collection. (Click the above picture to see more.)
6. When Lingerie Ads Sell Russian Mail Order Brides
Hot chicks? Check. Slow motion videography? Check. Close up shots of the “do me” look? Check. Catwalk prance? Check. Windblown hair? Check? Overuse of strobe lights and flash? Check. Pulsating soundtrack? Check. Booty shots? Check. Cleavage shots? Check.
If you’ve completed this list then you have created yourself a Russian lingerie commercial. If you steal this commercial and upload it to your own YouTube account and drop a link to Russian Beautiful Girls then you’re a lazy Russian dating service marketer.
7. Young Women Make Old Security Guard Very Happy
This is one that every “older man” will love. It’s from fashion label YMI. And it begs the question; do young women really like older guys or is it all just a game? A daddy complex? A gold digger scenario? We bet if you ask most older guys, they really don’t care what the reason is as long as young, hot women hang with them.