Ask TSJ: Should I Dump My Girlfriend Because She Got Implants?

fakeLife is hard. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help.

Each week, media sensation Tracy Pendergast and TSJ’s managing editor, Adam Tod Brown, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”

This week’s question comes from Ryan, a reader in Iowa…

Ever since my girlfriend got plastic surgery I’m totally turned off by her. Is it messed up to dump her over fake boobs? I didn’t want her to get them to begin with.

tracyTracy Pendergast: Ryan it is never messed up to dump someone if you are unhappy, whatever the reason may be. Plastic surgery is a big decision and I can understand why it would shake you up a bit.

After reading your question I looked at a lot of polls and articles asking men if they were attracted to fake boobs and the majority said no, unless they look really natural. Well, there is no fooling you into thinking they’re natural, because you were already dating her pre-surgery. Another issue is, when someone is willing to go under the knife for vanity it says something about who they are, not necessarily negative, but it definitely takes a certain personality trait. When your girlfriend got plastic surgery, it taught you something new about the person she is, and maybe that’s something you can’t relate to.

On the flip side there are tons of guys who live for fake boobs and would love to take your girlfriend out once you kick her to the curb! Don’t feel bad to dump this girl. She just got a new pair of boobs and is probably dying to show them off! If you’re not happy or attracted to her, let her go. There are tons of saggy boobs and flat chests on your horizon!

adamAdam Tod Brown: Well damn, there’s a question you don’t hear every day. Your girlfriend’s breasts just got larger and you want to break up with her over it? Certainly and interesting direction.

I’m sure plenty of people reading this will commend you for putting your feeling ahead of physical attributes and blah, blah, blah. Not me though! I think it’s the exact opposite. You liked your chick when she was Skittle titties, but she obviously wasn’t happy with herself. So, she got the problem that was bothering her fixed and now you don’t like her because her breasts are a little bigger? Not only does that fly in the face of everything men are about, but it’s kind of a dick move.

Tracy is right, you should never feel about breaking up with someone if you aren’t happy. But this is a pretty sketchy reason to suddenly claim unhappiness. I’d say go ahead and break up with her, but only because you’re probably a huge asshole and she deserves better.

Adam Tod Brown is the managing editor of The Smoking Jacket. He would like to be your friend on Facebook and on Twitter @realadambrown.

Tracy Pendergast is a writer, model, singer, television personality and professional magician’s assistant. We might be lying about one of those facts. Check out her official website or follow her on Facebook to find out which one.

Got a question for Adam and Tracy? Click here and fire away. If we use it…your life will immediately improve for the better.