Ladies Can Now Pee Standing Up

Fans of evolution have reason to rejoice today, as a large segment of the human species has taken a huge leap forward. Forget everything you know about human waste excretion (which we assume is quite a lot), because women can now pee standing up.

We know what you’re thinking: “Big deal, women can do a lot of things down there with the right contraption, if you catch our drift.” Yes, we do catch your drift, and we’ll remind you this is a safe-for-work website, thank you very much. Keep the strap-on and vibrator talk for a less wholesome institution. Besides, we’re not talking about any contraptions here. This breakthrough is of the completely natural kind. There are no messy tubes or filters or levers to deal with, all you need is enough coin to pay for a simple instructional video, ladies. The Internet download is available for $16.95 (or $18.95 for the DVD if it’s still 2002 where you are) at the appropriately named Stand2Pee.com.

In the trailer for the video, which is posted above, a woman asks the question, “What can every man do that no woman can do, but every woman wishes she could do?” Our answer would have been “not bleed profusely every month,” but apparently, the correct answer is “pee standing up.” Fair enough, but we bet our answer at least cracked the top five responses.

We sent an intern around the office in an attempt to solicit a female staffer to try the video out and only received an email invite to a mandatory workplace decency training course from HR in response. But we did find this article from a woman who actually tried it. It’s a fascinating read, to say the least.

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