Five Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop
Please forgive us if our short term memory is a little lacking, but we could swear we looked at the calendar this morning and noticed that today is 4/20. Also, we could swear we looked at the calendar this morning and noticed that today is 4/20.
Weed smokers of the world rejoice, it’s a celebration! As you bask in the glow of copious amounts of weed consumption today, as always, make sure to do so responsibly. We don’t mean “responsibly” in the “drink too much booze and you’ll wind up in a coma” sense. That’s not really a problem with the weed. Smoke too much and the worst that will happen is you’ll devour an entire large pizza and fall asleep for the night by 8pm. What we’re referring to, of course, are police.
Nothing kills a good buzz like an undercover cop with too much time on their hands striking up a conversation with you out of the blue about what you’re smoking. So keep your glassy eyes peeled, and use these handy tips for spotting an undercover cop while you celebrate 4/20 today.
Check Out the Car
In a perfect world, all police would be required to drive around in 1992 Crown Victorias with gigantic antennas and a visible gun rack in the back seat. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. These days, undercover cops are tooling around in anything from minivans to Mustangs. So how do you spot a car that’s outfitted for the sole purpose of harshing your mellow?
Fortunately, police need lots of special equipment in their cruisers to do their jobs effectively. If you look hard enough, you can see it. AOL, of all places, has a great guide to spotting undercover cop cars on their auto blog. Here are some highlights:
On unmarked cars, lights are often placed in the grill, front windshield and exterior mirrors. Even if they aren’t turned on, you should be able to see them provided there is a sufficient amount of light.
Look for stubby police antennas on the trunk lid and more lights in the rear windshield.
Each state has special license plates that are issued to government workers. Learn yours. If you see it on the car that’s pulling up to the spot where you’re lighting up, swallow that weed like a professional.
Pay Attention to Details
![undercover [2]](http://www.thesmokingjacket.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/undercover-2-e1303238011384.jpg "undercover [2]")
Here’s the thing about undercover cops…they’re really good at blending in with the environment they’re in. Anyone who’s ever been enjoying a joint on a park bench only to have a guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt flashing a badge in their face out of the blue will surely attest to that.
But everybody makes mistakes, police are no different. Does that shady weed dealer at your local park with the three day facial hair growth, unkempt hair and filthy clothes also have impeccably manicured fingernails? Is he wearing a beat to shit army jacket and four hundred dollar Armani jeans? If so, you probably shouldn’t buy your weed from him.
Actually, you shouldn’t just walk up to anyone you don’t know and try to buy drugs from them. But if it’s come to that, at least watch for those little inconsistencies that might indicate that they aren’t who they say they are.
Don’t Bother Asking
There’s a popular myth that claims if you ask an undercover cop if they’re a cop, they have to tell you if they are. Not true, says Barry Cooper, a former undercover cop who came around to the good side and now gets paid to tell people how to spot and avoid being busted by undercover cops.
In fact, he says this misconception actually helps law enforcement:
Many times as an undercover, suspects would ask if I were a cop and explain I must tell if I were. I would respond, “No. I’m not a cop and you are correct. I would have to tell you if I were.” The suspects were always comfortable with this answer and would sometimes comment on how cool the “must tell” law was.
So that’s a bummer. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mention the police at all if you think an undercover is in your midst…
Did You Hear the News?
Did the police make a significant bust in your area recently? If so, mention it. Undercover cops are trained to stay relaxed in high pressure situations, but by bringing up some especially noteworthy piece of police news, you’ve just entered something into the mix that normally isn’t present…their ego. Try mentioning that you don’t see what the big deal is about the bust that was all over the news last week and then, just like in poker, wait for the tell.
Nobody likes to have their pride injured, and that’s exactly what you’re doing. If the guy hoping to sell you a pound of kush suddenly snaps at you about how that bust was a HUGE deal, you’re probably dealing with a cop. Watch for any reaction that strikes you as out of the ordinary. If your gut is telling you to flee the scene, do it.
Hits From the Bong
This tidbit is especially for the dealers out there, and once again, it comes from former undercover agent Barry Cooper. If you suspect that the person you’re selling to is a cop, offer them a bong hit. Not a joint, not a blunt, not a hitter…a bong hit.
Why? Because undercover cops are strictly prohibited from actually partaking in drugs while in the field. Some are even tested immediately after returning from their crime fighting missions. That said, they are trained to hit a joint or some other lightweight toking apparatus without taking any smoke into their lungs. They just pass it through their nose and back out into the air. What a waste!
But anyone who knows anything knows that hitting a bong without using your lungs is literally impossible. No respectable drug purchaser is going to pass on the opportunity to sample what you’re selling prior to paying for it, be it in a joint, a bong or a hollowed out apple. If you offer up your intricately handcrafted, dragon shaped bong and they refuse, something is amiss. Tell them to kick rocks and live to sell the good stuff another day.
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[...] is the cautious curiosity that keeps them always on their toes and ever vigilant for the unexpected. Even though the officer [...]
3:55 pm on April 20th, 2011
Yeah that last one’s not true for many departments. While it’s encouraged to not use the drugs in order to take in the most amount of information and keep it reliable, if you must use to take suspicion off of yourself it is acceptable.
4:33 pm on April 20th, 2011
Most local police only have a handful of officers who do undercover drug work, especially low end stuff. If you go down to your local courthouse a few times when there are drug cases going on you can learn who to avoid.
2:51 pm on April 21st, 2011
ORRRR….How ’bout this….Don’t do drugs in the first place. Then you won’t have anything to worry about…losers.
4:18 pm on April 21st, 2011
Law Enforcement IS allowed to break the law (at least non-violent offenses) in order to uphold the law.
Can you imagine a cop NOT being allowed to speed in order to catch a speeder?
Or an undercover not being allowed to buy drugs in order to catch a drug dealer?
A good cop IS a good liar.
6:46 pm on April 21st, 2011
5 Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop…
This article has been featured on Gunaxin Links…
3:12 pm on April 25th, 2011
@ Mike
Sir, with all due respect, marijuana is an herb, not a drug. Drugs are dubious concoctions of highly purified chemicals and always have undesirable side defects, some of which are lethal or quite horrific. Herbs are foods. Like many foods, pot is best enjoyed unfiltered and in moderation. Side effects include the munchies, spiritual awakening and hatred of injustice and war, also tolerance and compassion for others.
Oh, and the same plant could also replace trees for most lumber and paper. And capture carbon at the same time.
As a natural wellness counselor, I routinely see the damage caused by drugs like food dye,white sugar, cocaine, meth, white flour, opiates, and so many prescription pills. Most people feel a lot better when they get off all that, especially when given delicious and nutritious alternatives.
The brain washing wants you to believe that “drugs are bad” and “ask your doctor if our drugs are right for you”. Because what we call health care is actually a mafia of sick care. This situation has led U.S. to 37th ranking in world health outcomes despite leading the world in health expenditures. People deserve better and our birthright, but to realize this we must think very carefully and change our current methods.
EDUCATION, HYGIENE, NUTRITION
No NWO, No GMO, Yay, Brunettes!
10:33 am on October 16th, 2011
Can’t fake a bong hit?
Have another toke, you moron.
12:44 am on November 30th, 2011
Youre all either anti weed nazi’s or anti intelligence weed dealers. fing the golden mean. youre better offf asking yourself then the internet, you frickin clowns.
6:12 pm on December 2nd, 2011
@ Ed…. Moron… you CAN’T fake a bong hit. I would love to see someone try. I will get the best laugh ever without being stoned!
@ iamfwomwome… Well put =)
1:24 pm on December 27th, 2011
funny when you don’t think you stoners will get away with it for all you know we could see you through your pathetic computers i COULD be a cop could not lets just say “No. I’m not a cop and you are correct. I would have to tell you if I were
1:25 pm on December 27th, 2011
nah just jokin got ya goin do didnt i
4:31 am on April 28th, 2012
Trust your instinct. If something is wrong, it is. But why is it wrong? Why did you notice it? What is out of place?
I know, that doesn’t *sound* very helpful, but you just have to be alert.
12:45 am on June 12th, 2012
Cops are definitely allowed to do drugs, even harder drugs than just marijuana. Think about it, if a cop is undercover in a violent drug organization and is offered cocaine, or crack, or heroin, and they refuse, the violent drug organization will assume they are a police officer, and that situation could easily result in serious injury or death to the officer. They do it not only to maintain the integrity of their investigation (ie. so the dealers don’t know they’re cops), and for their own safety. And IT IS perfectly legal (unfortunately).
7:48 pm on June 19th, 2012
Ya. Pigs get hazard pay when they ingest drugs.
10:00 pm on July 6th, 2012
I don’t actually smoke weed (tried it once, found it not to my liking) but I had great fun reading your entire article because it was funny as hell and informative.
You have my thanks and please keep up the quality writing. Also, may your life be like toilet paper: long and useful.
8:16 pm on July 7th, 2012
WOW! So all these dope fiends have just told this undercover website all their info, on who they are and where to find them Absolutely fkn genius. How long do ya suppose it takes to get a search warrant?
4:39 pm on July 16th, 2012
This would be quite daft, say the sale was for Hydromorphone pills or the like. If someone had little to no opiate tolerance, the stronger of that specific drug (64 mg) would lead to overdose. Granted, it is a given that something is miss when the person collapses in front of you…
12:21 pm on July 28th, 2012
hey so im incredibly paranoid, i was in a drive thru one day on a pretty nice buzz, the lady who hands me my food seems pretty cool and then she whispers to me “u high” im stunned ofcourse a
12:25 pm on July 28th, 2012
So this lady i met in the drive thru at a checkers dealed to me twice. then she said she went on vacation. an now like 2 weeks later shes calls me up and has “blue cheese kush on Dek” and me being extremely paranoid always have a feeling that wut if shes a cop. so my question is can they deal to me more than once before they can arrest me. she uses the term “loud” to describe her stuff (shes very ghetto) and im also a minor so i wouldnt think a cop would do that would they?
9:56 pm on August 26th, 2012
For all the people who did not read the last one correctly, what he said was a cop would not drugs just to sample a product. That’s not a life threatening situation most of the time, specially dealing with weed. But if he’s sitting across the table in a 4 million dollar condo and the man is asking him to sample if, then yes I’m sure the cop will test it. But that’s not what the site is regarding, it’s regarding a holiday where you might get to happy and just want some more weed and you heard of a guy on the corner. That dude is a cop and he ain’t gonna hit a bong just to sale you 100 bucks worth of good herb, sorry. Ain’t happening. Like said, on the other hand the guy is selling 40,000 thousand worh and the buyer asks him to hit it, and there are 6 guys standing around with machine guns, then I’m sure he will get fucked up!! But my beef with all the pot heads is they think their drug of choice is better than mine, opium. It’s a plant. And pharmaceuticals make it clean and in a pill form. And once educated you learn that a pure oxy pill ain’t bad for any of the organs other than you want shit for a week. But oxy is the mos hated pain killer. It’s not different then your guys hydro- or oxygenated growth options. See hydrocodone is accepted by most doctors and most people don’t look down on someone taking a lortab for a crushed disc. But it has Tylenol in it and that ahit is horrible for your liver. Oxy dissolves before gettin to the liver just like hydro does, but the Tylenol goes their. So why is lortab better than a roxi 10? It’s not.
My point is everyone has similar arguments for their drug of choice and most if we’re treated differently by society and the media and the could access the drug easier than buying it on the streets, then crime would go down. Most people start the drug to help cope with life, then get consumed by trying get the drug and thus the crime starts. If it was as easy as the most horrible drug on the market “alcohol” or ethanol, and had its on regulations then crime would go down because the price would go down. Drug dealers would have to get a permit, a business liscense, a building to facilitate the sales all being taxed and regulated.
Why is it so hard to see that everyone looking down on someone that exercises publicly what drug of choice he likes and it’s not a drug the one looting figure at likes, then he gets to spiral insults at him and call him scum and a loser. All the while hes doing this with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other, both drugs! But drugs the media an socialites have deemed “acceptable” but if they outlawed alcohol and they are still trying and they have gotten out of hand with regulations on it and it just about is illegal, then you would start feeling the same guilt an shame you have aposed on someone else. Just remember your drug was illegal once too. And the country socialites and religious nuts fought hard to make anyone drinking it like a 2nd rate citizen.
So even pot heads need to remember, your drug of. House might not be my drug o lf choice, but what this war on drugs have tought us is, every freaking one has a drug of choice. Just some have a way of hidding if better than others.
Why we can’t as citizens of this country and realize this and start coming together to change it without being confused and deterred by the few dickheads that are doing more drugs then any of us could think of on this site, and turn there media power off, and make some changes that will help all of us. I think that nasty meth shit has come about because they have forced Americans to get creative to find something simulate the drug they can’t get anymore.
It just shows that they haven’t done any good, they just keep pushing until now people are doing bath salts and shit. When will they learn no matter how many drugs you take away people want to find something to help them have energy, or help with pain mentally or physically, and nothing you write on a paper is going to change it. All your going to do is eventually run out of rooms in the jails.
9:20 pm on September 26th, 2012
[...] is the cautious curiosity that keeps them always on their toes and ever vigilant for the unexpected. Even though the officer [...]
2:47 am on January 6th, 2013
barry cooper what a fucking rat
5:25 am on January 17th, 2013
what about a whole heep of crap happening to you then suddenly things just go smoothly and your standing at the beach and the asshole comes up to you and says hows things. wot a DH!
7:55 pm on March 2nd, 2013
To the pot head above that says pot isn’t a drug. Grow the fuck up you stupid fuck, you make other stoners look stupid, if it messes you up it’s a drug, cigarettes alcohol meth marijuana they are all fucking drugs! You probably think smoking pot doesn’t hurt your lungs either… ITS A FUCKING DRUG!!! Should it be legal? HELL FUCKING YES, but it is still a drug!!!!
8:01 pm on March 2nd, 2013
Now that I got that out of my God damned system. There isn’t any magical fucking way to know if that douchebag is a fucking narco or not. The only way you can lower (not eliminate) your chances of buying from or selling to a narco are as follows, before you buy or sell to someone new, find out about them, where they work where they live. Or only sell to two or three people that are your TRUSTED friends, only buy weed from someone who you’ve established as trustworthy. At any rate, I HOPE THESE PIGS BURN IN HELL FOR THIS NEVER ENDING CIRCLE JERK OF A WAR ON DRUGS!!! Love you all, R.F.