In our continuing effort to bring you the sexiest of sexy, The Smoking Jacket has launched a new feature, The Week in Sexy Advertising. It’s written by Steve Hall who publishes Adrants, a site that writes about marketing, advertising and the use of sex as a selling point. We won’t discuss the business of advertising much because, well, that’s just boring. But we will bring you a weekly round up advertising’s best eye candy.
Chinese Boob Clamp Gives Women Epic Cleavage
It’s a forgone conclusion Asian’s have a propensity for the kink. And that includes the Chinese who have a commercial running for a line of…hmm…what shall we call it…boob wear that miraculously amps up a woman’s cleavage to epic proportion.
Actually, it’s not all that miraculous. It’s just a corset that squeezes the crap out of a woman’s boobs so that even a lady with an A cup can have drool-inducing cleavage. Hmm. The things women will do…oh wait…it’s all mens’ fault. If men didn’t obsess over boobs, women would just wear comfortable, baggy tops without a care in the world how their breasts appeared to others. Thankfully, they do care.
The Organ You Have in Mind Is Not the Organ You’ll Get Inside Her
Like a sledgehammer, this ad for Belgium’s Organ Donor Foundation bluntly deflates mens’ egos and, like a reality slap upside the head, manipulates them into realizing the rigid organ they have in hand isn’t the one which will do this woman the most good. Click the image to see a larger version.
Ass Branding Promotes Magazine
To promote the Netherlands-based S&M magazine Massad, ad agency New Message enlisted porn star Sofia Valentine to brand women’s asses, The Story of O-style. The so-called “spankvertising whip” leaves a mark on the whipped ass which reads “Massad, the SM Magazine.” Click the image to see a larger version.
Was That A Hot Asian Chick That Just Slid Down the Bowling Alley?
Speaking of strange Asian ads and anything that allows the country’s collective culture to dress hot chicks in bikinis and film them doing strange things, here’s one from Japan which promotes a ladies bowling competition. No, wait. Scratch that. It promotes a hair removal product. Whatever it’s for, it’s weird and it’s hot.
Camera Ad Equates Megapixels to Boob Size
Bigger is always better, right? Well, at least that’s true when it comes to boobs and…wait, what, cameras? Yes. According to this ad which appears to be for Nikon cameras, like a D cup versus a B cup, 3 million pixels are better than 2 million pixels.
Given this ad refers to 2 and 3 megapixels, it’s quite clear it’s an ad from several years ago. And given current cameras average 8-10 megapixels, were this ad to run today, the poor model on the right would be so big, she wouldn’t fit in the frame. And then Nikon would have to start promoting wide angle lenses and then…well, who knows where it would end.
When Firemen Come to the Rescue of Heartburn
Often times in advertising, things get lost in translation. Literally. As in the conversion of an ad from one language to another. Witness this ad for heartburn medicine which hypes a product that purports to cool the burning sensation of heartburn. Though the selected headline connotes an entirely different scenarios. It reads, “It’s Like A Fireman Came in Your Mouth.”