You got an extra 5,000 British pounds just clanging around in your pockets, dontcha. Yo, we’re not talking your bangers and mash blubber — we’re talking BIG MONEY. In American, that would translate to thereabouts of 7,800 bucks. You got some of that Daddy Warbucks action? Course you do. You da big man.

So now, Daddy Warbucks, it’s Valentine’s Day. And you’re not sure how to blow your wad on your lady. Course.

TSJ is here for you and your money problems.

These were the old days.

Here’s what you gotta do. What you gotta do is get your lady a private jet ride. Right. She gets all swoony. Then you do it in the jet.

Best. Idea. Ever.

Check out the Mile High Club Experience | Wish.co.uk. They promise:

• You can get rude at altitude in your own private jet!
• Complimentary chocolates, champagne and innuendo on request
• Your choice of music (provided it’s Barry White)
• Yes, it’s real

“We’re offering adventurous couples the chance to consummate their relationship in their own private jet.”

This is how it’s gonna roll from now on, baller.

No more waiting, guys! This is the perfect way to get it on. Complimentary innuendo! That’s dirty talk with an accent. Barry White and chocolates! Prices start at £4999, which includes a one hour flight around the south coast taking off from Farnborough in the UK. Wherever that is. Wait what — one hour only? Better round those bases fast, gunner.

Have fun doing it in the sky, bras!

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS