A woman is like a black hole. Sure, you understand her in theory, but if you were put on the spot, do you think you could actually explain how one works? We think not. One of the most elusive, enigmatic aspects of the female species is the female orgasm. Is she really that into it — hollering at the top of her lungs, legs quivering, body spasming — or is she faking it? You can never be sure when a woman is involved.
Here, we present to you nine women faking orgasms — or are they? (For the record, these videos are mostly safe for work. But maybe put some headphones on.)
I’m Coming All the Way to the Bank
What makes a woman orgasm? That depends on the woman. For some, it’s the g-spot. For others, it’s clitoral stimulation. For this woman, it’s banking. In this Czech bank commercial, a lovely lady indicates that if you transfer your funds to Komercni Banka, she will be sent into orgasmic ecstasy. “Enjoy the first banking transaction,” the tag line reads. Why, yes, we will.
Ask the Professional Orgasm Faker
Of course, if you really want to learn more about the fine art of faking an orgasm, you should go to the experts. Porn stars, natch. At your job, it’s required of you to act as if you like your boss. At their job, they have to act like the guy they’re boning is actually getting them off. And we all know the video camera doesn’t lie. Thankfully, Kayden Kross, Joanna Angel, Riley Steele, Sophie Dee and Asa Akira are more than happy to explain the difference between a faux orgasm and the real thing.
My Pixels Are Orgasming
What’s the only thing faker than a woman faking an orgasm? A fake woman faking an orgasm. It’s hard to know what’s going on here, but it seems this digital woman is part of a video game, her name is, fittingly, Mona, and she has an “orgazm.” If this freaks you out, get used to it. In a couple decades, this will be your new girlfriend, and you’ll have forgotten what real female flesh feels like.
When Sally Fake Came for Harry
Inarguably, this is the most famous fake orgasm scene of all time. In “When Harry Met Sally,” Sally, played by Meg Ryan, informs Harry, played by Billy Crystal, that, regardless of what he thinks, a woman he’s been with has probably faked reaching bliss at some point. Harry says it ain’t so. To prove him wrong, Sally goes full throttle in Katz’s Deli. Her vigorous reenactment spawned the famous line of one female onlooker: “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Data Blows His Wad
This one’s for all you people out there who masturbate to “Star Trek.” You are legion. Someone created this awesome compilation featuring “Star Trek” players appearing to get off on each other. Sex in outer space. It’s so freaky. Captain Picard goes horizontal with Commander Troi. Data demands more penetration. And what happens to Wesley Crusher — well, it’s not pretty.
How to Fake It While You Make It
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they fear their partner will feel bad if they don’t come. Because it helps turn them on, and then they can come for real. Because they can’t come for some reason, and they’re embarrassed to admit it. In case, though, you need some pointers on how to fake an orgasm and do it well, this handy video will help you contort your face in such a way that your sex partner will never know you are wondering what’s on TV. Dudes, take note of these tips if you are trying to figure out if your woman is doing it truly or pantomiming release.
Sex and the City of Fake Orgasms
“Sex and the City” left no erotic subject untelevised. In this episode of the HBO series, “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?”, Miranda found herself in bed with a dude who would not give up on trying to get her off. Exhausted by his perseverance, eventually she gave up and pretended to reach climax. Needless to say, their relationship was short-lived, and soon thereafter Miranda went back to her battery-powered friend.
That Looks Bueno
What this show is, what is going on here, and why this young redhead is faking coming is beyond us, but she does a fine job of doing it while hanging out at what looks like the Peach Pit on “Beverly Hills, 90210″.