True story. I know this guy who used to work for the government. I KNOW, THIS PART IS BORING. WAIT. And so he decided since he had some money that he would like to buy his lady friend a nice piece of jewelry. So for Christmas he went and bought her… a ring. BECAUSE HE DIDN’T KNOW. So it’s Christmas and she opens her present and she takes one look at it and says, YES, I WILL MARRY YOU!
Except he never wanted to marry her!
When he told me this I was like, “So what did you do then?!”
“I married her,” he said.
What I’m trying to say is you’re not alone with your Christmas shit hitting the fan.
Further hilarity-on-purpose below.