Spike Albrecht VS Jay-Z

 

Man Crush of the Week: Spike Albrecht

During the first half of the Michigan/Louisville National Championship Game, it looked like Michigan was going to win in a blowout, and because of one player. Not the National Player of the Year Trey Burke, who was on the bench in foul trouble. But the 5’11’’ 170 pound white guy on the bench averaging 1.5 points per game became the male version of Katherine Webb by dropping 17 points in the first half.

Everyone dreams about playing in the championship game and doing something awesome. But for most of us, it’s hardly possible. Even for Spike Albrecht, whose team was playing in the championship game, it wasn’t really possible. The freshman averaged seven minutes a game. And with a guy like Trey Burke ahead of you, your chance to shine was pretty minimal.

But that’s exactly what happened. There was a distinct moment after Spike knocked down his fourth three where I had the thought, “He is the MVP of the National Championship Game.” I mean, he was only recruited by Appalachian State – after spending a fifth year at a prep school – before Michigan came along. So sure, Michigan lost. But you couldn’t help enjoying Spike either way.

It was the feeliest good story of the year. And then it got better Spike took to Twitter to hit on Kate Upton, the only logical thing to do with newfound fame.

Douchebag of the Week: Jay-Z

I don’t particularly have big issues with Jay-Z. He used to be a good rapper before he started phoning in tons of guest spots. He has a great life. He’s lived the American dream.

And yet he’s turned himself basically into a con man recently.

So Jay-Z wanted to start a sports agency for some reason (Blue Ivy’s college fund?) and promptly merged with CAA and soon signed what may end up being the guy who will end up with the biggest free agent deal of the decade in Robinson Cano. For all Jay-Z does, you can’t say he doesn’t get stuff done. Such as, I don’t know, “buying” a basketball team and moving them to Brooklyn and becoming the face of the franchise.

He opened up the new Barclays Center with a string of concerts, has one of his 40/40 clubs in the arena, a Rocawear store and they sell his high-end champagne brand. He even ‘designed the uniforms’ (which is probably a giant lie). But it was all a scam, as it came out Jay-Z owned about a fifteenth of a percent of the Nets.

The Nets have been pretty successful (other than at signing players) and a large part of that was because of the support and publicity Jay-Z created for the Nets and his own association with them. So now that he wants to move on to something else? Jay-Z has to sell has tiny bit of the Nets. Sure, he’s basically hanging the Nets out to dry.

But don’t worry, now he can take his scam act to young, impressionable youths who want to sign with Jay-Z to basically hang out with him, instead of for any sort of financial incentive of their own. Look, Jay-Z can do whatever he wants, and he’ll probably be successful at it. But he is using his reputation in order to trick people into thinking he’s going to actually be involved when it’s just for the benefit of giving himself more material to rap about how great he is.

He’s not an agent, see, he’s an agency.

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