So this exists.
Rumpology, also known as butt reading, is the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the butt owner’s character and get a glimpse of what lies ahead by analyzing what trails behind.
Read more about it HERE.
Apparently you can have your future read in the zits, hair, and cellulite of your ass. Like almost anything culty, no doubt this is around to grant some wizened dude access to ladies’ rumps, whether for “divination” purposes or not.
I know what my ass says about my future. It says: You will sit at a computer your whole life and never see daylight. So I don’t need to consult with a jobless bipolar guy to look up my ass… though… maybe I do?
Throw your monies around — only 125 bucks to have your butt inspected for any future dimples.