MAN CRUSH OF THE WEEK:
THE GOOD JOB/GOOD EFFORT KID
Last week I begged for the NBA to have the Heat lose. Turns out I didn’t need the NBA to help, they choked on their own.
If it wasn’t enough of a joy to me, it was made infinitely better when the cameras picked up a boy screaming, “Good job” and “Good effort” to the Heat as they walked through the tunnel. This was possibly the greatest moment of the year for me. It represented my exact feelings about the Heat in a way I didn’t think possible until I heard it expressed out loud. It was the perfect heckle.
Saying, “Good effort” is the single most condescending thing you could say to someone, let alone LeBron James, a man notorious for not really making great efforts/good jobs when his team needs him at the end of the game. That a Miami fan (which doesn’t really exist) would scream this to them made me so happy. The real kicker was how earnest the kid sounded. Like he really meant it and wasn’t being sarcastic.
Turns out he was being. In this horribly annoying video it turns out the kid is kind of a douche himself and actually loves the Heat. But I’m choosing to ignore that part and put him in the ranks of Jeffrey Maier and the “Nevermind” kid who inadvertently made a huge impact at a young age in our culture. I can tell you I’ll never get tired of ‘good job/good effort’ jokes abut the Heat.
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK:
Everybody’s favorite Facebook lovin’ Obama hatin’ NHL goalie was back at it again this week. Once again, with an important message (and douchey advertisement), let’s turn to Tim Thomas’ Facebook page.
It was bad enough with Thomas decided his dislike of Obama was more important than being honored by the President and with his teammates (as well as then bringing a ton of scrutiny to the organization), but now Thomas has decided he is actually more important than the rest of his team and wants to focus on the three F’s (although Bruins fans can come up with a couple other Fs for Thomas).
Tim Thomas is now costing his team $5 million in salary cap space so he can watch Fox News all day. It wasn’t so long ago he essentially carried his team to the Stanley Cup and was the star of the US Olympic team. Instead of retiring, he decided he’s just going to chill out this year and then come back next year if he wants to, his team and sport be damned.
Tim Thomas knows that being a professional athlete has consequences like not hanging out with your bros as much as you want. But he lives a dream life and gets paid like it too. But he thinks he is the center of the world and is the only one who matters in sports, like he is the only person who worries about not seeing his family enough. If he would retire, he could do a lot of that. But he won’t. It’s his right after all, it’s in the Constitution (probably).
Thomas is everything wrong with sports. I hope he never comes back. And I don’t think anyone else really wants hi to either.
Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan