The San Diego Comic Con has come and gone, and this year’s cosplay-fest was overflowingly fat with surprises. Chief among them: The nuts-as-balls announcement that the upcoming Man of Steel sequel will be a Batman-Superman crossover.
Batman of Steel?
Despite whatever gripes you may have about Man of Steel, a Batman-Superman movie is still the kind of thing that audiences have been impatiently waiting decades to see. This is undoubtedly the boldest step anyone has taken to making a Justice League movie a reality.
Too bad it still looks to us like a Justice League film is doomed for the following reasons.
5. The source material
While it may ultimately be a wise move to slowly introduce audiences to the next Batman post-Christian Bale, that may not be the best approach considering their source material for this movie. Before the Batman-Superman logo was unveiled at Comic Con, Man of Steel actor Harry Lennox was asked to read a passage from the legendary graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns to underscore that, yes, Batman and Superman fight each other in the Man of Steel sequel.
Here’s hoping Batman wears the same garbage can as in this picture.
While we imagine nobody is expecting a straight-up adaption of The Dark Knight Returns, there’s a reason why Frank Miller’s epic slugfest between Batman and Superman is so famous: everyone wanted Superman to lose. Superman was a total tool in The Dark Knight Returns, easily one of the lest-likable incarnations of the character in DC history. As such, why the hell is this version of Superman being used as the basis for the next Superman movie?
Is Batman avenging the quarter-million people needlessly killed in Man of Steel?
That’s a pretty clunky way of introducing audiences to the two main characters in a Justice League movie. Don’t believe us? Imagine if Iron Man 2 was instead called Iron Man vs. Captain America.
In all fairness, Captain America would have probably been a better villain than what we got.
4. Nobody wants to see a Flash movie
Also announced at Comic Con were plans for a Flash movie in 2016 to kill time until the release of a Justice League film in 2017. In case you’re wondering why the Internet didn’t explode when this news was broken, it was probably because a Flash movie sounds about as exciting to most audiences as a stand-alone Quicksilver film to Marvel fans.
Only on deviantART could a Flash movie look this awesome.
While we understand that the Flash is an important member of the Justice League, why, why, why is he being used as the lead-in to a Justice League movie? Why not a Wonder Woman movie? Hell, even a Green Lantern reboot would probably be a better idea if only because it would guarantee no Ryan Reynolds in a Justice League film in 2017.
Then again, maybe they’ll cast Ryan Reynolds in this piece of shit as well.
3. An actual Man of Steel sequel could have been pretty good
While RedLetterMedia hit every point known to man about what was wrong with Man of Steel, the film’s many problems nevertheless set up one hell of an interesting situation for the sequel. Did Superman get hundreds of thousands of people needlessly killed in the movie? Is his presence on Earth causing more harm than good? Does half the planet think he’s an asshole?
Also, who the hell is cleaning up this mess?
These are the kind of questions that could make for a very persuasive argument that the world would be better off without Superman, and who better to present this case than Lex Luthor?
If only Yul Brynner lived long enough to see this day.
Also, while we know that brief cameo of the LexCorp building in Man of Steel means we’ll be seeing Lex at some point, wouldn’t it have made more sense to establish him in the second film instead of Batman? Especially since, you know, The Dark Knight was kind of the best film in the Dark Knight trilogy because of its well-established villain.
2. Apparently, Avengers 3 is going to be crazier than we expected
One of the many surprises at San Diego Comic Con was the announcement that the primary antagonist in Avengers 2 would not be Thanos, the Mad Titan.
Instead, Avengers 2 will be focusing on the killer android Ultron, leaving Thanos as the likely antagonist for Avengers 3. As such, holy shit… Is Marvel throwing the kitchen sink at us, or what?
Not only does the epic Infinity Gauntlet crossover appear to be in the horizon, but “Phase Three” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is shaping up to be crazier than anything we expected. It might take something close to ten films before Avengers 3 finally falls into place, at which point it will be hard to say whether anyone still knows or cares about a Justice League movie.
Please notice that there are no DC characters in this poster.
In short, Marvel has momentum on their side, and they appear to be using it to make a Justice League film impossible. And worse, it is already starting to show its wear, because…
1. DC is already starting to rip off Marvel
For those of you who never heard of A.R.G.U.S., you should not feel too embarrassed. Despite DC Comics owning an impressive catalogue that goes back nearly eighty years, it took until 2012 for them to feature an “Advanced Research Group Uniting Super-Humans” that is basically a blatant rip-off of S.H.I.E.L.D.
This woman is one eye-patch away from being Nick Fury.
Wanting to make a Justice League movie is a noble effort. People have wanted one for decades. However, stealing from Marvel to make this happen is only going to come back to bite them in the end. Especially DC’s attempts at hackery are so lazy that they end up making their Marvel counterparts look even better in comparison.
It’s just like the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo, only stupider.
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