The 4 Most Seminal Pornos in Porno History

By Charlie Jones

As we all had to learn first-hand, bringing up porn movies in polite company is sure to bring even the wildest 80th birthday parties to a screeching halt (once again, my apologies to my great aunt Martha). But why exactly do porn flicks get such a bad rap? After all, they’re fun, they bring people together, and, in some cases, they’ve actually changed history. Like in the case of…

4. Deep Throat (1972)

Gerard Damiano’s Deep Throat was the movie that got porno into the houses of suburban, middleclass couples… hopefully while their children were outside playing or something.

The plot of the movie is pretty straight-forward: A woman discovers that she has a clitoris in her throat and thus can only climax through oral sex. Cue the gratuitous blowjob scenes and you’ve got yourself a genuine cultural phenomenon. Back in the day, EVERYONE was talking about this movie. Some loved and hailed it as an artistic symbol of liberated social norms in a new, more enlightened society, while others viewed it as the personal work of Satan’s thorny cock. Everyone, however, whacked off to it.

What was Deep Throat’s secret? Well, maybe it had something to do with it being one of the first porn movies to acknowledge the existence of women achieving pleasure and orgasms from sex, a topic which up until 1972 was universally met with a: Maybe it exists, maybe not, who cares, can we please talk about something less unpleasant?!

3. What the Butler Saw (early 1900s)

 

The late nineteenth-/early twentieth-century was a turbulent time that witnessed the emergence of modern society and the triumph of technology, with the invention of moving pictures leading the way. Naturally, it took humanity only a few short years before everyone started wondering how these newfangled “movies” could help them see other people naked.

 

Note the dawning of the handboob bra era.

Enter the mutoscope. Generally considered the rebel, cool cousin of the kinetoscope, it was basically an advanced flip book machine used primarily to watch porn in public.

The most popular kind of mutoscope moving pictures (usually found in arcades) was titled What the Butler Saw. They were short “movies” of sort which featured women showing-off provocative underwear and maybe a pair of breasts from time to time while you pretended to be peeping at them through a keyhole (hence the title).

Yeah, it was hardly the Victorian version of Horny S&M Bitches but the naughty mutoscope series is today considered the first commercial porno which paved the way for modern smut studios, guaranteeing that no liberal arts major would ever be without a job ever again.

2. El Satario (1907)

While What the Butler Saw might possibly be the ancestor of modern pornography, the series did lack some of the most basic XXX principles we take for granted (and touch ourselves to) today, like ridiculous plots or the notion that all women are secretly lesbians. Incidentally, all of those things seem to have been invented all the way back in 1907 by the Argentinean movie El Satario.

This earliest surviving porno opens on three women hanging out by a river, having a good time and then suddenly just lezzing out with each other because why not? The familiar lack of rhyme and reason of “SUDDENLY LESBIANS” that we know and love is however only a preview to the real action when the devil himself shows up and has sex with one of the girls. This, in turn, is followed by possibly the first cinematic creampie scenes in history, starring a 70yo goat man.

So, for everyone wanting to take a sensual — if slightly-unsettling — trip down memory lane, put on your best top hat and finest moleskin glove and give El Satario a view.

1. Constance (1998)

The 1998 Danish film Constance is widely considered the first mainstream hardcore fuck flick. Today it would of course hardly give most healthy perverts a half-stiffy but back in the primitive, ancient days of roughly 14 years ago its story-driven plot and close ups on non-exclusively-vag penetration took the world by storm.

Not unlike Deep Throat, Constance was said to have broken barriers and reached new audiences – in this case, women. It did so by employing the unheard-of tactic of making porn something else than a documentary about two reddish-brown bags of meat slamming into one another. Crazy, right. But back then Constance actually helped legalize porn across many European countries, not to mention legitimize sex scenes in mainstream movies.

So remember, if you’ve spanked the monkey to a hot scene in a big, Hollywood movie, you were actually getting off to Constance… and, subsequently, the movie’s producer: Lars von Trier. You’re welcome for that mental image.

 

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