DREADING ANOTHER DAY BEHIND THE WHEEL? Whether you’ve got a long-ass daily commute or a detour to the store for a pint of milk, traffic is bad enough to, erm, drive you crazy. Ba-dum-pum. U-turn your traffic time from hellish to HELL YA. Here are 5 tools to help you battle the inevitable rise in blood pressure that comes from navigating today’s freeways, surface streets and parking lots.
1. Carma Driving Game App
Getting cut off sucks. Getting tailgated sucks. But imagine if you could turn that asshole-ish behavior into a game. The Carma App by CustomEgo does just that. The concept is simple. You earn points by reporting drivers for their obnoxious, courteous or even amusing behavior. In turn you earn or lose points when you get tattled on. The creative minds behind this product claim playing Carma will subconsciously make you drive safer in the quest to be the highest scoring driver around.
2. Traffic Light Stress Ball
Seething over that unsignaled lane change that almost sent you onto the shoulder? Instead of laying on the horn or letting loose with a string of expletives, try channeling that anger more whimsically. The Traffic Light Stress Ball is a polyurethane situation soother that can be both customized and ordered in bulk so that you can spread the joy of clench and release therapy to friends and enemies alike.
3. The Zen Antidote to Road Rage
Okay, so maybe your rage can’t be abated by squeezing some piece of rubber. Fair enough. For those brainy types that need to be calmed on a deeper level, we recommend Honku: The Zen Antidote to Road Rage. Honku is a collection of poems that transform those annoying moments behind the wheel into the 17 syllables of a haiku poem. A sample:
Gruesome hit and run
fatalities up ahead
how awful – I’m late.
When the daily horrors of merging, left-turns and jockeying for parking spots get to be too much, pull a poem out of your glove box.
4. Auto Audio Additives
Voodoo nonsense you say? Steven Halpern, the creator of Drive Time Rx believes it’s possible by incorporating something called Auto Audio Additives to a muzak-y sounding soundtrack. Pumped through your car’s sound system, these silent suggestions are meant to engage the subconscious mind. Described as half up tempo/ half relaxing, the music on Drive Time RX promises to make drivers feel more relaxed and more alert. That must be real.
Buy it: $15.58 at Amazon
5. Revenge Magnet Bumper Stickers
Sometimes no amount of hypnotic mumbo jumbo or passive-aggressive poetry is enough to quell the burning rage festering inside. When sweet revenge is the only way to calm jangled nerves, we direct you to the Prank Bumper Sticker Magnets. These ingenious little signs are printed on magnetic sheeting so they will not damage a vehicles finish. Slap one of these suckers on the back of an offending vehicle and revel in the payback the douche-y driver will soon receive. Some of our favorites include UNREGISTERED SEX OFFENDER, THIS CAR CLIMBED BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN and PAYCUTS FOR COPS, but there are plenty of others to choose from.