Sex Toy or Dog Toy?
It happened over a month ago, but it’s only now that we feel comfortable talking about it. A routine visit to the pet store, picking up a few new playthings for the prized pooch, and there, in aisle three, we encountered what appeared to be sex toys. For a dog.
Some screaming and a brief fainting spell later, we were gently assured that what we perceived as butt plugs were actually chew toys. And despite the best efforts of a kindly PetSmart manager and a succession of therapists, the trauma lingers.
Still, it got us thinking, could anyone tell the difference between a sex toy and a dog toy? We’ll tell you right now, the answer is no. Don’t believe us? Try for yourself.
Either way, you’ll never play with your dog the same way again.
1 The perfect chew toy for that puppy dog always nipping at your feet, or a creepy turn-on for the foot fetishist in your life?
Answer: Dog Toy
2 The bright colors suggest fun with Fido, but that shape suggests something we’d prefer not to imagine in a place we’d prefer not to think about.
Answer: Dog Toy
3 So cute! It’s like a little caterpillar. Please tell us it’s like a little caterpillar…
Answer: Sex Toy
4 If you found these things underneath your parents’ bed, what would be your first reaction?
Answer: Dog Toy
5 This one feels like a trick question. Obviously we’re supposed to say dog toy here, but those little hearts seem kind of inappropriate, even for your favorite pet.
Answer: Sex Toy
6 This thing looks like it’s out of some neon-lit David Cronenberg movie. Which means it could really go either way.
Answer: Dog Toy
7 We’ll give you a hint on this one: it’s called the “grunting squeaker.”
Answer: Dog Toy
8 The bumps seem to say “For her pleasure,” but the holes seem to say…we’re not sure what the holes seem to say.
Answer: Dog Toy
9 Even if this is a sex toy, we could totally see our dog chewing on this thing.
Answer: Sex Toy
10 We’ll be totally honest here—we’re comfortable with using this either in the bedroom or at the park. Just not both.
Answer: Dog Toy
11 If this isn’t a dog toy, we’re going to be sitting uncomfortably for the rest of the week.
Answer: Sex Toy
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Sex Toy, or Dog Toy?…
This article has been featured on Gunaxin Links…
9:48 am on August 17th, 2010
This was by far the best post on TSJ that I have seen. Fresh, Sexy and funny. What would have been better is if you had a contest, say “Sex toy or Dog chew” to see what people thought and then posted teh results.
12:44 pm on August 17th, 2010
Sex Toy, or Dog Toy?…
This article has been featured on Gunaxin Links…
10:51 pm on August 17th, 2010
Reminds me of “Dog Toy or Marital Aid” from a few years back: http://www.thetoryparty.com/archive/dtoma/
Enjoy!
11:28 pm on August 17th, 2010
Haha. I worked in a mall based adult store franchise (not naming names) in high school and used to get this comment from customers all the time. Number 2 actually looks a lot like what was apparently our best vibrator. I think it was called the ‘Rock Star’. It seemed like the more it looked like a dog toy and the less it looked like a penis, the better.
Oh and 9 is a vibrating cock ring but get the ‘her pleasure’ one; much better.
9:36 am on August 18th, 2010
Ok, that’s it. I’m going to browse my local pet store for sex toys next week!
3:06 pm on August 18th, 2010
Easy article to write…
I guess the author just bought everything for sale in the “slightly used” bin at our Mondoux Pet Shop here in LaSalle!
2:00 pm on August 22nd, 2010
No. 7 is actually a dog toy component, something you’d find inside a duck or pig shaped chew toy. I don’t see why it couldn’t be repurposed as a sex toy. But I guess you could say that about any dog toy.
7:17 pm on August 22nd, 2010
I want the foot to Lick the Toes and let my dog play too!
8:25 am on August 27th, 2010
Why the toys ?
They’ll both be happy with a bone !!
4:42 pm on August 30th, 2010
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4ACGW_enUS390US391&q=sex+with+dog
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
5:00 pm on September 3rd, 2010
Great article!
8:37 pm on September 8th, 2010
This is funny and I’ll never look at dog toys the same again…. LOL!
11:55 pm on September 8th, 2010
i can’t be the only on who knows that Rule 34 means there ALL sexy toys regardless of where you buy them
1:19 pm on September 12th, 2010
Speaking of vibrators not looking like vibrators.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/masseur-vibrator.htm
I thought it was a TV remote
7:33 pm on September 28th, 2010
I locame to the conclusion a few weeks back that they come from the same factory.. The guy at the end of the conveyer just throws them in boxes labelled “Dog chews” on the morning shift and boxes labelled “Dildos” in the afternoon…
4:16 pm on October 15th, 2010
Toss it to Fido or stick it up my bum? Hmmm, maybe both!
10:53 am on October 26th, 2010
Good to see they changed this article from its original format
12:46 am on January 25th, 2011
hahah too funny, there would be a market though, dog lovers tend to spoil they dogs quite a bit
12:44 pm on September 2nd, 2012
hello people ple take more pictures of locomotives and women in Garter belts
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