Sex Toy or Dog Toy?

Hot Girl With Dog

It happened over a month ago, but it’s only now that we feel comfortable talking about it. A routine visit to the pet store, picking up a few new playthings for the prized pooch, and there, in aisle three, we encountered what appeared to be sex toys. For a dog.

Some screaming and a brief fainting spell later, we were gently assured that what we perceived as butt plugs were actually chew toys. And despite the best efforts of a kindly PetSmart manager and a succession of therapists, the trauma lingers.

Still, it got us thinking, could anyone tell the difference between a sex toy and a dog toy? We’ll tell you right now, the answer is no. Don’t believe us? Try for yourself.

Either way, you’ll never play with your dog the same way again.

1 The perfect chew toy for that puppy dog always nipping at your feet, or a creepy turn-on for the foot fetishist in your life?

Foot Toy

Answer: Dog Toy

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2 The bright colors suggest fun with Fido, but that shape suggests something we’d prefer not to imagine in a place we’d prefer not to think about.

Bumi

Answer: Dog Toy

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3 So cute! It’s like a little caterpillar. Please tell us it’s like a little caterpillar…

Flexi Felix

Answer: Sex Toy

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4 If you found these things underneath your parents’ bed, what would be your first reaction?

Bigmouth Rings

Answer: Dog Toy

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5 This one feels like a trick question. Obviously we’re supposed to say dog toy here, but those little hearts seem kind of inappropriate, even for your favorite pet.

Heart 2 Heart

Answer: Sex Toy

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6 This thing looks like it’s out of some neon-lit David Cronenberg movie. Which means it could really go either way.

Green Monster

Answer: Dog Toy

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7 We’ll give you a hint on this one: it’s called the “grunting squeaker.”

Grunting Squeaker

Answer: Dog Toy

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8 The bumps seem to say “For her pleasure,” but the holes seem to say…we’re not sure what the holes seem to say.

Occupi

Answer: Dog Toy

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9 Even if this is a sex toy, we could totally see our dog chewing on this thing.

Ophoria

Answer: Sex Toy

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10 We’ll be totally honest here—we’re comfortable with using this either in the bedroom or at the park. Just not both.

Wonderbar

Answer: Dog Toy

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11 If this isn’t a dog toy, we’re going to be sitting uncomfortably for the rest of the week.

Answer: Sex Toy

Buy it here!

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