Sex Slave or Terror Attack Victim?

It seems that no one is unaffected by the unbridled paranoia that defines our post-9/11 world—not even sex slaves and their doms. Last week in Germany, several civilians became alarmed and called police when they noticed a man dressed in full S&M gear, rolling around in the snow and gasping for air through his rubber mask. Thanks to the incessant fear mongering of our media and our world leaders, the passers-by came to the only logical conclusion they could: The poor fellow was CLEARLY a victim of a bio-terrorism attack.

But once police arrived and discovered that the man had simply been ordered to stroll the streets in his sluttiest naughty slut gear and then spend a few minutes immersing himself in the cold snow (his punishment for some undisclosed bad behavior such as not doing a thorough enough job of licking cigarette ash off of his mistress’s stillettos), he was released without incident. They did, however, warn his keeper that in these tenuous times, it’s not a good idea to order your sex slave to behave strangely in public—particularly when he’s wearing a scary rubber mask.

So, all you dominatrixes and masters out there—heed this warning: Until they catch that rat bastard Osama Bin Laden and end “the war on terror,” i.e. for the forseeable future, please err on the side of caution and punish your sex slaves inside. There’s no need to send the public into a tizzy just because your pet didn’t assume the correct position.