After more than a decade, the quintessential thinking man’s slasher flick for jaded horror junkies returns to the silver screen today. The most inventive of horror franchises, Scream was a real shot-in-the-arm for the genre in the mid-90s. Multiple imitations would soon follow, including a comedic, ancillary evil-twin franchise, Scary Movie. But the real appeal to all of these films is the unflappable antagonist, Ghostface, whose mask at once incites fear and awe, while also exuding complete confidence, total irreverence and sometimes even empathy with victims as the kill is being made.

Similarly, another spectre from the 90s arises to challenge the apparent misuse of his namesake, hip-hop legend and Wu-Tang Clan MC, Ghostface Killah. Clearly a man who needs no introduction, Killah has entertained millions around the world in concert and on radio, spewing insightful lyrics backed by the bombastic beats which only the likes of the Wu-Tang can deliver. He took his moniker from a 1979 Kung Fu classic, and got his start pre-96, meaning he was Ghostface waay longer than the Scream serial killer.

So ready up the Red Rum shooters (it’s ‘murder’ backwards, boys and girls), and let’s chase it with Mad Dog 20/20. It’s time to hop in the hooptie and roll out, ‘cause it’s a ghost hunt and we on the creep.

Occupation

• Serial Killer
• Hip-Hop Legend

Killah. Pop quiz, hot shot. If you died and could come back as anyone, so long as they were either a serial killer or a hip-hop legend millionaire, who would you choose? Yeah, that’s right. Ain’t nobody coming back as Jeffrey Dahmer, ‘cause the canabalistic killing sprees got his ass dead.

Known Associates

• The occasional accomplice
• RZA, GZA, ODB, Raekwon, Method Man, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Cappadonna and the rest of the mighty Wu-Tang Clan.

Killah. Spoiler Alert! In Scream, Ghostface is actually two people, and in Scream 2 he has an accomplice. In Scream 3, the killer admits to giving the idea to the killers in Scream 1. But no matter who dons the mask, once they do they quickly become a loner sociopath who hates the world and resents everybody—especially Sydney.

If you’re gonna live, it might as well be large. We can’t think of a better way to roll than with a larger-than-life posse like Wu-Tang. Besides, Confucious say, “Man who hides in bush with another man really wants a hairy tree.”

Sexuality

• Shared the silver screen with probably the longest list of lovely leading ladies ever to grace a franchise
• Um, he has copious amounts of it?

Ghostface. And here we have the most imaginative serial killer in cinematic history, who, if he’d just leave the knife in the butcher block, could focus all that pent up energy and talent tagging that primo ass instead of slaying it.

Mortal Combat

• An angst-riddled antagonist who gets as much thrill from scaring his victims as killing them
• Allegedly broke rapper and Diddy protégé Mase’s jaw in a bar fight

Killah. The one thing Ghostface thrives upon is the thrill of the chase. However, Ghostface Killah is gangsta, and as we know from the song “Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta,” a real-ass gangsta doesn’t run much. So, the tired cliche of the white girl running through the woods, tripping and falling? Try again. What, then, does Ghostface have going for him against a guy like Killah? A 9-inch blade and a smart mouth. Hmmm. We have it on good authority that Killah’s packing more than 9 inches. And the rule about people of color being the first victims? Yeah. Killah ain’t goin’ out like no Omar Epps punk bitch.

Ghostface Killah. Surprised? Elementary, dear Watson. When you pit someone named Ghostface against someone named Ghostface Killah and wonder who’s gonna win, well, you must also get really disappointed when 2+2 keeps equalling 4. Besides, whomever dons the mask has died at the end of the last three movies. Everyone raise your pimp cups and toast the king, and don’t ogle his ho’s, there’s dimepieces for everybody in this kingdom. Pimps up, ho’s down!