San Francisco to Outlaw the D*ck Snip?

Look down at your dick. Look back up at the screen. Down at your dick. Back up to the screen. Now take a long hard look at your dick, and kiss it goodbye.

No, nobody is about to cut off your manhood. Someone probably already did that to you at birth, of course. But a proposed ballot measure in San Francisco seeks to ensure your turtle without its shell becomes the minority in the future, to outlaw all forms of male circumcision, deemed genital mutilation by some groups.

Lloyd Schofield is the brainchild behind the ballot measure. Something you should know about Lloyd? He’s a foreskin-regeneration expert. Never heard of foreskin-regeneration? We first got wind of it on Penn and Teller’s Bullshit! episode about circumcision, and since it makes this writer’s nonexistent balls ache at the thought of it, we’ll let you figure this one out for yourself. Trust, it has to be seen to be believed.

The ballot doesn’t have a lot of support behind it yet, but Schofield is adamant about circumcision of boys under 18 being comparable to female genital mutilation, which has been outlawed in the U.S. for some time now. Though it’s rooted in religious rituals, instances of male circumcision have spread way beyond that, especially in the U.S. But since the Center for Disease Control has yet to take a side in the matter, declaring it neither necessary or not, rates have dropped steadily in the U.S.–32 percent of boys underwent the procedure in 2009, compared to 56 percent in 2006.

We’re not about to argue either way, but we’re pretty sure there’s nothing awesome about getting a big chunk of your dick sliced off in your first few days of twilight. Or ever, to be clear. But, then again, there are some studies that say you can avoid penis cancer and other unsightly diseases by getting snipped. Hear that? Cancer–in your dick.

Tell the truth, currently cut men: If you hadn’t been circumcised as a tot, would you go after the procedure later in life? And for the uncut: Do you regret not getting snipped as a baby? Or would you ever get snipped now?

To the comments section! Let the flame wars begin.