Power Rankings:10 Sports Stories And Most Of It Is How The NBA Kind Of Sucks Right Now

Earlier in this year a little bit of magic happened. The MLB trade deadline and the NFL lockout ended the same week, leading to all sorts of transactions. As I wrote then, I think I’d rather be a GM than actually be on the field.

So this week when the MLB free agency period started and the NBA lockout ended, it was another perfect storm of tons of teams making dumb, franchise-altering decisions, including one of the biggest moves of my lifetime (and one of the biggest ones that didn’t happen of my lifetime). This was early Christmas for me.

First, Albert Pujols decides he wants to be the only member of the Angels’ infield who hits a home run this season, and then the NBA decides it can’t trade Chris Paul to the Lakers because people like the Lakers. This week was awesome.

Here’s another special all-transaction edition of Power Rankings.

1. Dodgers sign Aaron Harang, trade Dana Eveland

 Your move, Angels

2. Albert Pujols, CJ Wilson sign with the Angels

 With Mark Trumbo and Kendry Morales, Pujols forms the Big Three of the MLB. Oh. They all play the same position. Your 2012 Angels!!

3. Chris Paul trade to the Lakers blocked by the NBA

 The NBA kind of sucks now, for basketball reasons.

4. Chris Paul to probably won’t get traded to the Clippers either

 I have a great idea. They should trade Chris Paul for Dwight Howard. But then the league wouldn’t satisfy both its superstars and its desire to remain competitive. I think they need another lockout.

5. Dwight Howard wants to be traded too, you guys

 “I’m a crybaby who doesn’t care much about winning. I hear New Jersey is a great place to live!” Howard said.

6. Tyson Chandler traded to the Knicks

 He immediately fills the role of the only guy on the team who knows how to play defense.

7. Lamar Odom traded to the Mavs

 Generally simply giving away your third best player isn’t the way to win. But on the bright side, Kobe doesn’t have to look at Khole Kardashian anymore.

8. Shane Battier signs with the Heat

 Now LeBron has someone do to his math homework for him.

9. Tayshaun Prince resigns with the Pistons

“Oops,” both parties immediately said.

2. Greg Oden re-signs for one-year $8.9 million with Blazers

And he immediately got hurt. Unlike his birth certificate, you can’t make this stuff up.