Power Rankings: The 10 Most Compromising Sports Stories of the Week

lockout

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle! The NBA lockout is probably overish!

Thankfully, the two sides decided to come to a conclusion vastly favoring the owners before the entire season could be cancelled, the exact same thing which could have been done if they just decided to do this months/years ago!

So now the NBA is going to play a 66-game season. Other than the alienated fans who were mostly fair-weather anyways, basketball fans can only be happy the agreement was reached. Since no one actually cares about basketball until Christmas anyways, this year may actually be their best ever. Soon fans will be clamoring to pay exorbitant prices to watch guys walk-through games while still making a ridiculous amount of money.

Alright. I’m already over the NBA season.

Here are the other compromising stories from the last week.

1. NBA lockout over…

lockout2

“Oh,” said America.

2. Tim Tebow wins again…

tebow

He led the winning drive by giving the ball to his running back and having the kicker hit a field goal. Like a true winner.

3. Ndamakong Suh gets suspended, calls Goodell…

suh

He asked if his refrigerator was running and then stomped the hell out of it.

4. Matt Leinart hurt…

leinart

His career is pretty much the funniest thing to ever be in Power Rankings.

5. Urban Meyer to OSU…

meyer

He retracted his words from last year and said he’s putting football over his family and health.

6. Bernie Fine fired…

fine

This is arguably the worst time to be a child-molesting coach ever.

7. LSU, Bama 1-2 in BCS…

lsu

Meanwhile, Oklahoma State is still going to play in the National Championship Game. Computers rule!!

8. Astros fire GM…

wade

They probably Waded too long. Boom. Ed Wade humor.

9. Capitols fire Bruce Boudreau…

boudreau

Only because the Caps couldn’t fire Alexander Ovechkin. (He sucks now. I need to explain hockey jokes.)

10. Stevie Johnson mocks Plaxico Burress shooting himself…

johnson

Plaxico in turn mocked Stevie Johnson by actually having a successful career.

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