Serena Williams Tops an All-NFL Edition of Power Rankings

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Huge news this week. Serena Williams once again lost her cool with a line judge. I know right? Not again! She completely disgraced the beautiful sport of tennis. And she only got a $2,000 fine? Implausible!

On top of that, her forehand looked very suspect, leading experts to believe she is still not completely back to full health. I happen to think the bigger concern is the amount of underspin on her closed stance ground stroke counterpunchers during holds. That needs to be addressed immediately.

LOLZ guys, did you really think I was going to write about tennis? I don’t even know what any of those words mean. I just Googled “tennis lingo.”

Here’s a special all-NFL edition power rankings.

1. Cowboys Blow 14 Point Lead in Loss to the Jets…

Tony Romo tried – and succeeded – to single-handedly lose the game like six times in the fourth quarter. Maybe the Cowboys should look at bringing in a closer for the last quarter for Romo. This is probably the best idea Power Rankings has ever had.

2. Jerry Jones Says Tony Romo “Outstanding” against the Jets…

 

Scott Bolohan says Jerry Jones “kind of an asshat.”

3. More Manning Neck Surgery…

Amazingly, he’s still better than his brother.

4. Lance Briggs Wears 9/11 Stuff…

Unlike the MLB who wouldn’t let the Mets wear FDNY hats, the NFL is pro-America.

5. Tom Brady throws for 517 yards as Pats Beat The Fins…

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As always, he looked great. And he also played great. He must have been listening to that music from his UGGs commercial to get pumped-up before the game.

6. The Steelers Got Manhandled By The Ravens…

During the post-game press conference, Ben Roethlisberger said the Ravens did a pretty good job manhandling but would suggest they involve alcohol and be a little more forceful next time.

7. Michael Vick Says He Feels Better Than Ever After Resting Due To Lockout…

In theory, you would have thought he felt better after resting for those two entire seasons he missed being in jail and all, but I guess an extra month off before the season probably feels alright too.

8. Lions Continue Their Winning Streak…

The fact they have a winning streak is news. They were nearly as bad as the Colts in 2008.

9. Saints Can’t Score on 1-yard Line, Lose To Packers…

Who would have thought the Saints couldn’t punch in a touchdown from the one? Only everyone who had a computer with access to the stat of the Saints averaging -.3 yards per carry in short yardage situations last year.

10. Colts Are The Worst Team Ever…

They were destroyed by an Arian Foster-less Texans team. Peyton Manning was clearly a big part of the team, but his defensive play-calling was something previously overlooked.

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