Thanksgiving Cocktails to Forget Thanksgiving Already

On the Sauce

So it’s so great. It’s Thanksgiving. You get to hang out with Mommy and her boy-toy who’s barely older than you are and watch Honey Boo-Boo while Mommy weeps in the kitchen from her estrogen meds and you don’t want to help her because you’ve done enough, really, haven’t you? You so have. So you sit with your bro-trying-to-find-himself-on-mama’s-dime step-dad and ignore Mommy’s kitchen fiascos and wait till you get to be served up. And the turkey’s maybe a little dry but it’s still okay. And you scoop yourself some of that canned cranberry sauce that looks like Jell-o with the ridges and it makes the dry turkey get nice and jammy. And then you say THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF LIFE. And then you get up, and you mix yourself a couple of drinks because dude.

May we humbly suggest the following concoctions for your holiday pleasure:

Smashed Pumpkin

  • 1 oz Wild Turkey Spiced
  • 1/4 oz almond liqueur
  • 1/4 oz cinnamon schnapps
  • 2 oz pumpkin pie filling
  • 1/2 oz heavy cream
  • 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • Fresh nutmeg grated on top

Then you chug that stuff pronto with Grandpa, yo.

More Than a Barrel Full O’ Turkeys

From Justin August Fairweather of Evelyn

  • 1 dash Absinthe
  • 1 oz Wild Turkey Spiced
  • 1 oz Wild Turkey 101
  • .50 oz orange juice
  • .50 oz pineapple
  • .50 oz lemon
  • 1 bar spoon cardamom-infused grenadine

Shake and strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with orange spiral. Suck it. Insta Wild Turkey happy!