On the Sauce: Drink Your Weight in Goldschläger

Urban Dictionary’s got this one SFW def of Goldschläger as:

(n) - Cinnamon schnapps liqueur (40 percent) with gold flakes. Rapid consumption results in inebriation and eventual disorientation which eventually leads to unconsciousness.

Upon consciousness, causes one to realize they are in someone else’s bed in A/B with their pants 1/2 off. At this point, friends help one up and one proceeds with puking.

Then there is more disorientation, eventually leading to another state of unconsciousness. Later the next morning, it is realized that stolen furniture polish was thrown out one’s window.

What’s so great about Goldschläger? The cinnamon burn? The flakey REAL GOLD bits? The perky/staccato Swedish umlauts in the name? Yes. All those things.

Got some Christmas shwag ‘schäg in your stocking and don’t know how to chug this business? TSJ says: Make like a forty-niner who’s struck it rich! Yukon your liquor straight! Here’s a drink to make your fillings tingle.

Not man enough to drink it straight, you say? Don’t James Dean your face into worry lines — it could freeze that way. Don’t fret, here’s a buncha shot concoctions even Ms. Shirley Bassey could get behind.

Liquid Cocaine

Unlike its powdered compatriot, you can get all your ingredients over-the-counter-like, which makes things a little less Prohibition, true, but in a good way.

  • 1/3 oz Jagermeister Liqueur
  • 1/3 oz Goldschlager Cinnamon Schnapps
  • 1/3 oz Rumple Minze Peppermint Schnapps

Black Banker

Remember to down this quick, before you hurl.

  • 1/3 oz Goldschlager Cinnamon Schnapps
  • 1/3 oz Banker’s Vodka
  • 1/3 oz chocolate syrup

Bourgeoisie

Never been much a Marxist, huh? Then we’ve got the perfect sickly sweet drink to tickle your rich bone.

  • 1/3 oz Goldschlager Cinnamon Schnapps
  • 1/3 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream
  • 1/3 oz French Vanilla Kahlua

Now listen to Johnny Cash reciting The Cremation of Sam McGee

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
On the Sauce: Top 7 Hangover Foods
On the Sauce: Kentucky Derby Mint Juleps
On the Sauce: Kick Your Booze Some Coffee Already 

 

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