On the Sauce: Booze Fit for a Commie

Odds are that you will never taste this liquor. And for this you should be really fucking grateful.

Remember that episode of Fear Factor where the girls had to drink donkey semen? I mean, I’d stop things before they got so crazy. What! I would! But let’s say the dick mushroom juice stuff from North Korea my bf brought home is a close number two to the donkey excretions.

But there’s a warning on the label: Check out the picture of the two penis mushrooms. Right. Not tempting.

Well, we drank it anyway.

According to the Internet (and it’s very difficult to research anything about North Korea on the Internet because they aren’t hooked up to it), it’s possible that this is actually a  traditional Korean liquor made from fermented mushrooms (those two words side by side are even gross), and it’s a drink that was chosen as the toasting drink for the first official dinner of Pacific Rim leaders recently. Poor sods.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE: Piss.

WHAT IT TASTES LIKE: Shit-flavored rubbing alcohol. With an belchy aftertaste of miso.

No offense, North Korea, but it sorta seems like maybe your farming/distillery system ain’t going so strong if all you have to ferment is your fungus.

Okay well maybe that’s not exactly surprising. The country is among the poorest in the world — they can’t even afford to drink their own beer. So they’re stuck choking on their rot for kicks, I guess. And that’s not just lame, it’s sad.

Recently, it was reported that a North Korean man got loaded and accidentally floated into South Korea on a piece of wood, where he was granted asylum (a move sorta like a Cuban getting drunk and waking up in Florida).

No doubt dude got sloshed drinking dick mushroom liquor. But the good news is it saved him from the Kim Il-sung dictatorship.

And that’s a happy ending.

-

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
On the Sauce: Top 7 Hangover Foods
On the Sauce: Kentucky Derby Mint Juleps
On the Sauce: A Jarful of Rotgut and Two Sheets to the Wind

468X60AD