Offal Nice: Donkey Semen Cocktails and Other Fear Factor-Inspired Recipes

THROWING A LITTLE SUPER BOWL SHINDIG AND DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SERVE? A Fear Factor-style barf-fest fete is surely never out of style. TSJ’s top suggestions below. Remember, everything gross is considered a delicacy someplace.


Here’s Captain Beefheart circa 1968.

1. BEEF HEART

Put some heart into it: The old bovine ticker’s a good source of protein and iron. There’s a bazillion recipes on the net. Actually it’s way more normal than most things Fear Factor. So eat up.


Swimming in blood is so unnecessary.

2. CHICKEN FEET

Inspired by the Couples’ Fear Factor, Episode 416, Season 4, where ladies had to lie in a plexi-glass covered tank and be swarmed over with rats while their dudes bobbed for chicken feet with their teeth, TSJ suggests the classic chicken foot dinner. Recipe here.


Here’s a girl freaking out about eating chicken feet on an Asian TV show.

3. BULL TESTICLES

Nothing puts hair on your chest like mawing gonads. In honor of Fear Factor’s Season 1 Episode 104 that involved bellying up to the counter and chomping some testicles, ask your butcher to fill a scrotum sack full of torro testes for you. Folks in the prairies like their balls fried, and it’s true most fried things are good. Just call your dinner Prairie Oysters (or Rocky Mountain Oysters).


Bar nuts.

4. DONKEY SEMEN

This is where you cheat, because seriously. I would never make you swallow donkey spunk. And anyway, Fear Factor just pulled that show off the air (twins guzzled donkey semen for nothing?!). So it’s okay to go halfsies here. And after all that organ meat, you’re going to need some booze. Here’s the recipe for a drink that looks funky but is really just coconut rum, sour mix and soda. Bottom’s up.

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Best line: ”What I ended up doing was vomiting in my glass, and just drank that.”

 

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