Middle America: Where the Sexually Satisifed Roam

Men's Health Sex SurveyIf you’re from small-town America, you’re probably already aware of this: There’s not much else to do than have a lot of sex (when you can get it). But what you probably didn’t know? Men in Middle America seem to be the most sexually satisfied in the U.S.

Men’s Health conducted a survey to find where men were having the most bonerrific, “sex-happy” lives. Austin, Texas, came in at No. 1 for the most sexually satisfied city, and other cities like Dallas; Columbus, Ohio; Durham, North Carolina; and Denver fell in the top five.

It sort of makes sense that guys who get sex whenever they want it–face it: Midwesterners and townies screw like rabbits–would be happy with their “sex life.” But it seems like there’s a massive trade-off these Texans and Middle Americans are forgetting about: Most of the cities in the top 10 also rank in the top 20 for birth rates.

Last we checked, having a few screaming babies lying around the house wasn’t exactly the best libido-enhancer. Good luck with the last “sex-happy” nine months of your lives, dicks.