Jadevon Clowney vs. Devin Hester

Man Crush of the Week: Jadevon Clowney

If you were like me, you spent New Year’s Day in front of the TV watching football in a strange half-awake/coherent state.

Until The Hit happened.

During the South Carolina/Michigan game, a controversial first down was awarded to the Wolverines despite the ball clearly being about an inch or two short of the first down marker, Jadevon Clowney decided he had pretty much had enough and decided to go nuts. He basically sent Vincent Smith flying with such force his helmet went a good ten years. I actually let out a yell watching it. It was that impressive. The best play of the year happened within the first couple of hours of the year. Just crazy.

But the best part of the play is after Clowney completely wrecks Smith to the point I figured I might have just witnessed a dude die, he reaches down WITH ONE HAND like he’s the Hulk and grabs the football to recover it. He literally single-handedly won the (completely meaningless) game for South Carolina.

With the one hit he reached national media attention and is probably the frontrunner for the Heisman next year. An impressive feat for a defensive player/person who nearly murdered a guy on national TV.

Douchebag of the Week: Devin Hester

After the final game of the NFL season a bunch of coaches get fired. It’s just how it works in the sport. This year there were a couple of bigger name coaches who got ‘sacked’ (football pun), including Andy Reid and Lovie Smith.

The firing of either wasn’t a huge surprise, unless you were a member of the Bears. I’ll let Devin Hester do the talking.

“The media, the false fans, you all got what you all wanted. Majority of you all wanted him out. As players, we wanted him in. I guess the false fans outruled us. I thought he was a great coach, probably one of the best coaches I have ever been around. He brought me in. I don’t even know if I want to play again, man.”

He then went on to talk about how he had worker’s comp papers filled out, not for physical injuries, but because he was hurt mentally.

Look Devin. We’ve all been there, just most of the time when we were crying like this it was when the girl you really really wanted to dance with in seventh grade wouldn’t dance with you and instead danced with the popular guy. It sucked. But that’s life. And unfortunately most people stopped whining like that before they were millionaire athletes whose words were recorded and read by hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people.

Here are a couple facts. The Bears have made the playoffs once in the last six years. That is bad. Their offense is terrible. That is bad. And the entire team is getting older and not better. That  is bad. Devin Hester did not return a kick for a touchdown this season and is a complete non-factor as a wide receiver. This too, is bad.

I never met Lovie. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, or something. But when you don’t do good things, bad things sorta happen to you. It’s how sports are. I get that he’s sad and stuff, but the idea of things like winning or improving the team are not things Hester thought of here.

My advice to him: Go to 7-Eleven, get a big Slurpee and listen to Rage Against the Machine. Worked for me in seventh grade.

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Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
The Best of Man Crush vs. Douchebag of 2012
Kirk Cousins vs. The New York Mets 

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