Michael Jordan vs. Wale


Man Crush of the Week: Michael Jordan

It’s not often a dude’s birthday completely overshadows one of the premier events of the sport that made him famous. But that’s what happened with Michael Jordan turning 50.

MJ is probably the most famous man in the world. And it turns out he’s also probably the saddest guy in the world. And somehow this makes him more likable than ever.

When people talk about Michael Jordan they aren’t really talking about Michael Jordan. It’s this well-crafted image of a man who dedicated his life to being really good at basketball and also really good at not being controversial in any sort of public way. Over the years Jordan has let his impeccably crafted image slide, most notably at his Hall-of-Fame speech (although his commercial work didn’t help much either). And to say his contributions to professional basketball have been notable in any way would be false.

And yet we’re still fascinated with him. A story came out that he beat Michael Kidd-Gilcrist in a game of one-on-one. And then this massive, fascinating story from ESPN came out where he not only talks about LeBron’s weaknesses, but shows vulnerability for really the first time outside of with curveballs, saying he’d “give anything to play basketball again.” I couldn’t help but feel bad for Jordan, although having as much money and fame and as hot of a wife as he has wouldn’t be so bad.

And yet the idea of Jordan coming off the bench for the Bulls at age

50 and putting up 10 points is the most exciting idea I can think of.

I mean, how awesome would that be? I don’t doubt he could do it either despite it being a completely ridiculous thought to even have. But that’s the power of Jordan.

It’ll be interesting to see how the rest of Jordan’s life goes.

Whether he really does attempt a comeback. Whether he can ever put together a winning team. Whether he ever seems happy or humbled or if he’ll always be the man searching for the greatness he used to have and failing in finding ways to replace it.

Or maybe he’ll end up joining Twitter and tweeting just like the single greatest parody account ever.

Douchebag of the Week: Wale

Another week, another feud between a Toronto Raptors announcer and a rapper.

Okay so that was probably the only time in history a sentence even resembling that will ever be able to be written. Which is really too bad.

So turns out Wale is the biggest/only Washington Wizards fan and sits courtside at a lot of games. And he’s also apparently buddies with Rudy Gay. So when Rudy Gay and his Raptors were in DC playing the Wizards, Wale was joking around with Gay during play.

This caught the attention of Raptors announcer Matt Devlin who had no idea who Wale was and proceeded to hilariously basically start major rap beef with him. He said, “Supposedly this is a well-known local rapper…I’m sure somebody on Twitter can tell me exactly I they’ve ever heard of Wale. He’s not Drake, that’s for sure.”

First, Matt Devlin, without knowing it, you created the single greatest rap diss of all time. Calling a relatively big rapper a ‘local rapper’ and then saying he’s ‘no Drake?’ Magical.

But Wale wasn’t having it. He took to the Twitters to defend his manhood. And then that wasn’t even enough for him, deciding to bum rush the announcing booth.

Wale. Dude. I like you. You like “Seinfeld” a lot. You aren’t very hard. But letting a random Canadian announcer from possibly the worst franchise in basketball history rattle you to the point you actually take relatively threatening action? Come on.

While I’m about 800 percent more likely to watch a Raptors/Wizards game now, this is one of the dumbest things to ever happen in the NBA. And that’s saying a lot.

Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan

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