Earlier this year Joe Flacco described how he had to think of himself as the best quarterback in the league or else what was the point of playing. This drew a bunch of laughs from every human being who realized he was in fact not the best quarterback, even if in theory his thought process was correct.
Flacco has a history of never being able to win the big game, as someone who could never lead the team to a Super Bowl. And make no mistake, Flacco certainly has flaws, namely the ability to accurately complete passes.
But what Flacco does have is a crazy arm and the ability to throw the ball very far. And when the Ravens were facing off against the favored Broncos, led by America’s favorite pizza pitchman, it turned out having that big arm was very important.
The Broncos were winning going into the last 30 seconds of the game. Which is when Flacco decided to throw a 70-yard touchdown to Jacoby Jones to tie the game up. It was the most shocking thing to happen for at least a day this week.
Sure, Flacco on the game basically by playing the Madden ‘Hail Mary’ play to perfection. But it was a huge, shocking win for him, and won that probably kept Ray Lewis from murdering him for at least one more week.
I fully expected to write about Lance Armstrong this week. I mean, what could be douchier than Lance Armstrong and his long-awaited confession to Oprah, no less.
Oh right, lying about your fake dead girlfriend which gained you more press than anything else you’ve done in your career.
And that’s what Manti Te’o did. In this completely amazing report by Deadspin, it becomes clear that his girlfriend, the one who he would fall asleep talking to every night, the one who told him to play through her death, the one who he described as beautiful after meeting her at Stanford, apparently never existed.
This story is possibly the most shocking/amazing/hilarious thing to happen to sports since Nancy Kerrigan. I stayed up last night way too late as updates kept coming in. In the way people get obsessed with Kennedy assassination theories, I’ve become obsessed with fake girlfriend conspiracy theories. And after a teary Notre Dame AD press conference, only more questions arose.
And it basically comes down to this. Either Te’o was in on the story thw hole time, using it to help his Heisman case and draft stock, making him a very devious but complete douchebag. Or he was actually tricked and did love this girlfriend who he admitted he had never met and only ever talked to on the phone an perpetuated the lie by making up all sorts of details and telling these to national press outlets at his benefit, making him the most feeble-minded person in the world.
So either way, Manti Te’o went from being a great character guy and a true leader to being either a douchey D.B. Cooper or a 75-yeard old woman who just gave $10,000 to a random person on the internet.
And there are way too many questions for him left. How do you draft this guy in the first round now? How does he ever even show his face in public?
But honestly, I’ve enjoyed how ridiculous this whole this is so much I’m having a hard time getting mad at Te’o. So really the moral of this story is if you are going to be a terrible person/really stupid, at least be creative about it.
Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan
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