Doug Martin vs. The Los Angeles Lakers

Man Crush vs. Douchbag

Man Crush of the Week: Doug Martin 

Man Crush vs. Douchbag

Doug Martin is the least cool name for an athlete ever. Two super generic names almost never combine to make a great athlete. In fact I’m pretty sure there was a science teacher at my high school named Doug Martin. That’s what you expect when you hear ‘Doug Martin.’ Not a guy who put up two of the best weeks in recent memory.

Doug Martin is awesome. Like ridiculously good. After rushing for 31 yards in the first half of the Bucs 42-36 win over the Raiders, Martin ran for 220 yards and four touchdowns in the second half. That’s good for the tenth highest rushing yards in a game ever as well as becoming only the second player ever to put up four touchdowns and over 240 yards. And he became the first player ever to score three rushing touchdowns of over 45 yards in a game.

Martin might end up being the biggest Man Crush in the NFL this year. He has so many things working for him. He’s a rookie out of Boise State who can actually play. He comes off incredibly likable in this interview. And he has the single best nickname in sports, Muscle Hampster. Somehow we’ve moved away from the great nicknames for athletes in the last couple decades, but this is right up there with all of the greatest ever. It’s just too bad he doesn’t like it because a nickname so completely random yet perfectly describes a player doesn’t come around very often.

This was one of the easiest Man Crushes to pick of the year. Unless you had him and his 50+ points going against you in fantasy last week.

Douchebag of the Week: The Los Angeles Lakers

Man Crush vs. Douchbag

Last week I talked about how the Thunder had basically given the Western Conference to the Lakers. And then the Lakers decided to become the 2012 version of every New York Knicks team for the last 10 years.

First off, the Lakers broke Steve Nash, the only likable dude on the team and the silver lining to the Lakers seemingly inevitable run to the title game in that he might finally get a ring. But then things really started falling apart. Kobe starting complaining about just about everything, even punching a ball instead of throwing it in because he loves winning THAT MUCH. Then Steve Blake decided to yell at a the son of the L.A. Gear owner (LOL at that still being a thing) and ended up getting fined $25,000 for doing so. Every Laker fan is calling for Mike Brown’s head and his Princeton offense and Dwight Howard still hasn’t found a Los Angeles candy shop he really loves (I made that one up, but it’s probably true).

Mike Brown was never a great choice for the coach of the Lakers and losing Nash certainly hurts. But right now the Lakers are more frustrated than Dwight Howard counting how many licks it takes to the center of a Tootsie Pop. It’s like how Kevin Garnett feels about Comcast. But what it really come down to is Kobe isn’t happy. When Kobe is angry one of two things happen. He either ends up channeling all of that into crazy and becoming an assassin on the court or he gets his coach fired and then all the problems are solved.

The Lakers have an awesome team. But they have the potential to be a huge disaster. I, for one, would not be upset at this, but for the sake of rich people in the front row at the Staples Center, I hope it’s fixed.