Should Lap Dances Be Considered Tax-Exempt Art?

Do you consider a night at your local strip club to be an experience on par, artistically, with a trip to the local ballet? Relax, tough guy, we’re not asking if you actually go to the ballet. We’re just asking if you think the two performances feature the same level of artistry?

It might seem like a silly question, but the answer could determine whether an Albany, New York strip club has to pay up on a $125,000 back due tax bill. The club, Nite Moves, doesn’t serve alcohol, which strikes us as kind of ridiculous, and that’s apparently part of the problem. When booze are involved, a whole other set of tax rules apply. That’s why strip clubs far and wide aren’t waiting in breathless anticipation of an eventual decision in the case.

But Nite Moves sure as hell is. After an audit revealed that they owed $125,000 in back taxes due on lap dances, they argued that the dances in question were covered under tax exemption laws much like any choreographed ballet routine would be. Except, you know, in this case the ballet routine has titties. The club even went so far as to bring in a cultural anthropologist to testify on their behalf. The anthropologist did indeed side with Nite Moves in saying that the dances are choreographed performances that should qualify for tax exempt status.

So, no matter how this all turns out, you can always tell your wife you were doing “scientific research” next time you spend a few too many hours putting dollars in Destiny’s g-string instead of spending quality time with your kids.

It looks like the courts aren’t buying the anthropologist’s argument, though. Instead, they concluded that Nite Moves didn’t present sufficient proof that it deserves an exemption. They noted the dancers were not required to have any formal dance training and that a DVD of onstage dances did not by itself show they qualified as choreographed performances. They also mentioned that the anthropologist didn’t actually see the backroom couch dances at Nite Moves.

That’s probably where Nite Moves failed. Everyone knows the real art happens in the back. Or, maybe they just need to hire this chick…