MAN CRUSH OF THE WEEK: JOHN ELWAY
Holy hell, John Elway is the man.
Throughout all of Tebowmania, Elway visibly hated every second of it. He did not want Tebow to be his quarterback at any point, even when he was pulling miracles every week. Elway could have easily decided to follow what the fans wanted and allowed Tebow to start next year too, struggle, and need to be replaced, all while he personally would have taken none of the blame.
Instead he put his entire reputation on the line and went out to sign one of the greatest quarterbacks ever. Not exactly a tough move to make, but it is when you have a quarterback who my actually have magical powers.
Granted, Peyton Manning is coming off four neck surgeries and a bunch of bad commercials, so no one really knows what to expect out of him. But if he can throw a football and a receiver can catch it, it will be an upgrade over Tebow–fans be damned.
Elway clearly cares about winning, so he did what teams who actually win games do: Go out and make the team better.
But it didn’t stop there. Elway cemented his Man Crush status by trading Tebow to probably the worst environment in the world for him. Not only will he be playing in New Jersey which is pretty much hell on Earth, but he’s a short drive away from New York where gay marriage is legal. His coach is a noted user of the profanity and has a noted foot fetish. The quarterback he’ll be backing up went to noted party school Michigan State (I’m half-joking about him backing up Drew Stanton). And the starter is Mark Sanchez, noted advocate of sex. Throw in Antonio Cromartie having nine kids with eight mothers in six different states and you have basically the least Christian environment he could have landed in.
Unfortunately the media will talk about Tebow even more. But I’m legitimately excited to see where this goes.
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: CJ WILSON
I liken CJ Wilson. He’s one of the few athletes I actually follow on Twitter. And He’s been on every one of my fantasy teams, last year even advising me to take him over Gio Gonzalez. He’s one of the most unique personalities in sports.
After former teammate Mike Napoli said he couldn’t wait to hit home runs off Wilson, he went out and tweeted Napoli’s phone number to the entire world as a traditional St. Patrick’s Day prank.
While in most cases I would think this was funny and just a good Spring Training prank (I mean, come on, there’s not a whole lot to do in Florida or Arizona other than die) it turns out Wilson and Napoli weren’t good buds or anything. It would be one thing if they were just two bros gettin’ their prank on, but they were hardly more than just co-workers according to Napoli. This was like bringing a gun to a thumb war.
He eventually took the Tweet down, but not before pretty much everyone hated him.
The next day Napoli was asked about the prank, and he didn’t sound all too excited. He said he had no idea why he did it and they hadn’t even talked since the end of the season. Yikes.
Granted there could have been way, way worse things he could have done. But it’s pretty douchey. I mean, have you ever had a problem with your phone (obviously, yes)? It’s one of the most unpleasant experiences ever. He at least didn’t have to get a completely new phone, but giving everyone your new number in one of those Facebook event invites it pretty much the worst thing in the world. And you have to interact with people who work at cell phone stores, and that’s never a pleasant and easy experience.
Although I admit I’m a little worried what CJ might do for retaliation against me now.
Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan