It’s not easy, this job of ours. Day after day, we have to come up with entertaining content for you people to look at. Being no strangers to the concept of dicking around on the Internet when we should be working, we take our responsibility to provide you with quality distractions very seriously. A lot of work goes into what we do.
For example, do you know what it takes to be funny? Basically, you have to go to a website, any website will work, and then type the word “funny” in that site’s search box and re-post whatever pops up. Fine, that’s not what we do. Not usually, anyway. Today is a rare exception, because going to a website and searching for the word “funny” is exactly what we did. Some of the results were anything but.
Here are 15 unsettling images that popped up when we searched for the word “funny” on a stock photo website…
This image is titled “Children Square.” Judging from the current state of the place, we’re inclined to believe it earned the name because several children were slaughtered in the area prompting locals to abandon it out of fear. That’s actually the more pleasant idea when compared with the alternate possibility, which is that adults actually let their children frolic in this shit hole.
Just what kind of household does a television in this advanced state of disrepair come from? Certainly not one where funny is what’s for dinner. Unless there’s a brand of cheap whiskey called “funny.” When your television dies of natural causes, it doesn’t explode into a shrapnel spewing shell of its former self. No, you just unplug it and throw it away.
That’s not what happened here. This television was destroyed, if not by drunken rampage then by disaster. Either way, nothing funny could have led to this. And don’t say “what if it fell out of a window?”. That’s especially tragic in this economy. Quit acting like the 1% you pompous jerk.
The Lonely Tiger
We didn’t add the text to this image. It probably wouldn’t have made the cut if we did. But once you add those words, this goes from a picture of a resting tiger to a brief commentary on the sad existence of wild animals forced to live in captivity. Hilarious! Who else wants to listen to Sarah McLachlan right now?
These Fucking People
The unnerving couple pictured above…
…is actually part of a trio with this Benjamin Button looking nightmare. Exactly what kind of project calls for a “funny” picture like this? And why can’t we see the whole picture? What the hell is that woman holding? It looks like a pod of some sort. Is that how these monstrosities are hatched? Why does the child appear to be every bit as old as the parents? Why?
Fear Fountain Pt. 1
Holy shit. Are those things real? Meaning if we were to go swimming in some mysterious body of water, could those freakish sons of bitches on the left and right of spouty there actually brush up against (and presumably devour) our leg while we swim our morning laps? Because that’s not funny. Nothing about this is.
Fear Fountain, Pt. 2
Everything we said about the last picture applies to this one also, except this nightmare appears to be portable. Perfect for backyards where you expect children you dislike to be visiting. One look at this half rat looking freak will scare them off your lawn for good. So, that’s kind of funny, we guess.
So which part of this is supposed to be funny, that those statues look like the kind of thing you’d use to cast a voodoo curse on your ex or the part where the picture is for some reason titled “Monkeys”?
The best thing about stock photos is that you rarely get any explanation as to what the picture really is. Like we said, this popped up when we searched for the word “funny”. White beard, red hat…is this supposed to be Santa Claus? Is this what Santa looks like when he relaxes? Does Santa run with a cold climate motorcycle gang and cook meth when there are no toys to be made? And why is he wearing eyeshadow?
The Gypsy Troll
Again, who needs this image for comedy purposes? Fun fact: If lightning hits this creepy thing in the face at just the right angle, it looks like it’s staring into the vast expanse where the soul it just sucked from your body while you slept used to be.
If You Build It, They Will Run
If you stroll up and see that some bored weirdo has sucked up 90% of the snow in the area to construct an off-putting little snow person, you’ve probably arrived at the den of a serial killer. Yes, take a picture, but then…run.
What Is This Even a Picture Of?
If you think this is funny, you’re probably a cannibal. Or a raging sexist. Whatever the case, are those just straight up eggs where the titties should be, or are they those egg flavored tart things that sometimes come around on the dessert cart at Chinese restaurants? Because in either case, what the fuck?
Clowns Are Never Funny
Never. Not once in the history of forever has a picture of a clown been funny. Especially not a depressed looking clown that’s ballooned to such a weight that, at first glance, you’re sure it’s riding a motorized wheelchair of some sort. Better to keep up with the kids, you see.
Where Did One-Eyed Ronny Touch You?
What’s terrifying about this? Well, it’s very clearly drawn by a child, it sort of resembles a walking penis and the title of the picture is “One Eyed Uncle Ronny.” We trust that answers your question. We hope it does, anyway.
It’s a Pile of Babies
Not even sort of shockingly, this image also pops up if you search for “scary.” Which is exactly what you are if you’re the person who had all of these naked plastic babies laying around in an easy to photograph pile.
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