Viral Outbreak: Get a Real DVD, Bro!


Hey, aren’t you tired of being a sexless, friendless, lowlife creep who lives in a dimly lit apartment the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the Brad Pitt blockbuster Se7en? Sure you are, but what can you do about it?

Well, for starters, you could quit spending 250 hours at a time sitting in front of your laptop stealing the latest Michael Bay adventure like some kind of unscrupulous criminal and buy a real DVD instead!

That’s pretty much the gist of this video. Asshole shut-ins steal movies, people who like to party rent DVDs. Don’t you want to frolic around on your couch and high five your friends like the rich and famous? Well you certainly aren’t going to get there by stealing movies, apparently.

On a slightly related note, if it takes you 250 hours to download a movie, it’s time to surrender the dial-up connection and contact your local cable provider. There have been innovations in that area in recent years. They can probably help.