Your lady’s been dog-earring her Fifty Shades of Grey like it ain’t no thang on the subway commute alongside all the other chicas lah-dee-dah getting book sexy? Of course she has. Have you tried but failed to see the sexiness in the books? Yeah. We get you. The whole Fifty Shades thing is weirdo. ‘Cus NOTHING HAPPENS.
We’ve got your alternative. We bring you the book you need from the indie publishers over at CreateSpace. And just like the original Fifty Shades, it’s its own take on porn. Kind of.
Fifty Shades of Bacon is your answer to Fifty Shades of Grey, if for no other reason than because it’s useful. We haven’t quite YET exhausted the whole bacon theme, after all, and it’s useful to know the dozen or so other ways we can consume our salty pig entrees, desserts, what-have-yous. Bacon-wrapped stuffed cheeseburger, anyone? Bacon chocolate chip cookies? Did someone say heaven? And by heaven we mean the heaven of pig carcasses?
Your heart beating fast? That’s the sound of your coming cardiac arrest.