Five things to do on February two.
1. PLAY THIS.
Half-read the list with the Sonny and Cher tune playing in the background and get flashbacks Re: how awesome Bill Murray is in this movie and consider how much I would totally switch places with Scarlett in that movie with the underpants.
Okay so it’s playing. Good.
One down, four to go. Here are more groundhog-themed things to do today, on the only day that combines anthropomorphic rodent appreciation and seasonal affective disorder.
2. RIGHT? SEND A CARD.
3. EAT THE GROUNDHOG.
Groundhog just said six more weeks of winter. Shut that rodent up. Cook the fucker. Shower him with condiments. Plus girls dig roadkill. True fact. You can look up from the chewing and say, “It’s a little gamey, babe.”
4. BE THE GROUNDHOG.
Feel like you were wrongfully assigned your human identity? Should have been born a groundhog, right. You’re not alone. So be a fucking groundhog. Suit her up and make it with your new-found furry mates like you’re a couple of woodchucks. Hawt.