It’s a simple fact of life: some men spend more time scoring on the Xbox than on the field (or during ladies’ night at the local bar). Others fear that members of the opposite sex will find out about their fondness for Dungeons and Dragons, or the fact that they dress in robes and fight preteens with foam swords on the weekends.
Still others hide the fact that they desperately want to get laid by immersing themselves in foreign languages. We’re not talking something sexy like Italian or French; we mean the kinds you whisper to your computer late at night that are made up of esoteric combinations of ASCII code.
If you’re part of this demographic, you might be surprised when we tell you to consider yourself lucky; after all, there’s never been a better time in the history of manhood to indulge in these types of activities. Socrates was forced to commit suicide because of his mental prowess; Benjamin Franklin had to loudly proclaim (however apocryphally) the benefits of beer in order to make up for his geekier pursuit of being one of the first slaves to electricity.
Likewise, there’s never been a better time to leverage some of your nerdier moments into your greatest sexual triumphs. Basically what we’re trying to tell you is that you don’t need to change the fiber of your being in order to enjoy positive female attention; instead, like any good inventor or quester, you can use what you’ve got to achieve your goal.
Fix Her Gadgets
You might not be the guru at your local hacker space or the head engineer at a major software company, but even the smallest amount of know-how can take you a long way when it comes to seducing the opposite sex with your technical prowess. The fact is, despite recent advances in science and technology education for girls, a lot of times men end up more advanced in this realm — often because fooling around with computers and other electronic devices is something guys just do together.
Even if her grasp of Linux is greater than yours, she’ll probably appreciate the fact that you’re being chivalrous by offering to rid her life of commercial operating systems. After all, girls love it when guys come to their rescue.
Two caveats: first, make sure that your penchant for upgrading her PC doesn’t land you squarely in the friend zone. Plenty of women have hordes of backup techno-wizards on speed dial who are willing to fix things for them without demanding anything in return.
How do you avoid this trap? Involve her in the process; the second she leaves you alone in the room with her gear, you’re screwed. Take a break and invite her out for coffee or beer if her attention wanders. We know gadgets are fun, but don’t get so into what you’re doing that you forget why you’re there in the first place (which is to score, a fact we hope we didn’t need to remind you of).
Second, don’t break her stuff. Not only will you lose out on a date; there might be some legal implications involved as well.
Go On Techie Shopping Trips
While you don’t want to offend women by letting them know that you think they all love to shop, the truth is that even the most die-hard feminists can feel the lure of commercial culture. How else can you explain the fact that women make more than 80% of buying decisions?
The trick is to find out the right buttons to push when it comes to the female you have your eye on (trust us; this is a skill that will come in handy again later if the date goes well). Some girls will swoon over endless arrays of colorful, interchangeable laptop skins. Others will be impressed with your ability to demo the latest techie features, such as 3D handheld gaming systems and mulit-touch technology. Still others will want to know how electronic toys can help them do all the things they love, such as listening to music and reading up on the most recent adventures of reality show starlets.
Again, take subtle steps to ensure she knows you want to get into her pants, not be her best buddy. No matter how many hints she drops, don’t buy her anything. Don’t be afraid to get hands-on with her during your demonstrations. And make sure she knows you’re interested in women (you know, with the whole shopping thing…)
Whisk Her Away on Romantic Adventures
Men tend to love adventures in which they collect powerful magical items and slay mystical creatures. Women, on the other hand, like the kind that involve wine, roses and weekend getaways at cozy bed and breakfasts (at least, if romance movies are to be believed).
We’re here to tell you that the above information about women is patently false; there is absolutely no need for you to sleep in a room lacquered with terrifying wallpaper alongside ten cats in order to woo a date. Instead, you can use what you’ve learned from role-playing games to take your lady friend on an adventure that you’ll both enjoy.
It’s easy to do. First, find out a little about the interests of your object of desire; think about this as the part of the quest where you talk to the townsperson who apparently has nothing better to do than sit around and wait for heroes to walk by.
Then, identify a (short) list of locations that contain objects of interest, such as the underground bar that sells mead by the glass, the easily-missed hipster music store that’s got all the best indie records or the local exotic foods marketplace that provides such oddities as dragonfruit and pickled chicken feet (hey, we’re not here to judge your crush). Invite the girl to “hang out,” make sure she’s wearing comfortable walking shoes, and set off on your grand journey.
She’ll love the fact that you actually put some thought into your activities, and you’ll love that the two of you have more to talk about during your date than how long it’s taking the snooty waiter to bring you your overcooked spaghetti. We guarantee that the potential reward will be even better than Legendary Unobtainium Flame-Resistant Diamond-Studded Armor With Shoulder Pads of Doom.