Life is hard. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help.
Each week, media sensation Tracy Pendergast and TSJ’s managing editor, Adam Tod Brown, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”
This week’s question comes from Dave, a reader in Milwaukee…
There is this really hot woman at work who has been hitting on me for weeks. The only problem is, she’s married. Should I care that she has a husband? She’s the one pursuing me!
Tracy Pendergast: Yes! You should definitely care! You are dealing with a woman who is trying to make up for something that is missing in her marriage, and that is not something you should have to deal with. I understand the idea of having sex with a married woman is probably really hot, but realize that this is someone’s wife! I know it’s hard to imagine because you are not married, but someday you might be and you wouldn’t want some dude putting strain on your marriage and affecting the lives of your kids.
You’re probably thinking that if you don’t have sex with her she’ll find someone else and do it anyway, right? Well, that’s fine! Let someone else deal with her! I promise you, the awesome sex won’t be worth all of the aftermath. What if you guys start to develop feelings for each other after hooking up? Then what?
You must feel like the man right now! You have a married woman who wants to cheat on her husband with YOU! Well, take that shit to the next level. Deny the cheating broad! Go have sex with a hot single chick and flaunt her all around town. There is too much stress in life. Don’t add sleeping with a married woman to the list!
Adam Tod Brown: Totally agree with Tracy, but I’ll take it a step further. Not only is sleeping with a married chick a bad idea for all of the reasons Tracy mentioned, but in some states, it can get you sued or even arrested. For real, in some states, adultery is actually against the law. People have been arrested for it. Even more ominously for you is the “alienation of affection” law. That basically states that you, as the third party, are responsible for bringing about a divorce. Like, legally responsible. That eventually leads to “financially” responsible in civil court.
Do you want to spend $50,000 defending yourself in court because some sad soccer mom is disappointed with her marriage? Of course not. That’s her damn problem, not yours. At least it’s not your problem yet, and you should make it a point to assure that it never becomes your problem. The easiest way to do that is to, you know, just not sleep with her. Tell her you’re flattered by the attention, but you would rather not get tangled up in her reality show bullshit.
That said, if she’s especially hot, it might not be a bad idea to “just be friends” on the off chance that she does eventually get divorced. Divorcees love to bone. Science has proven it.
Tracy Pendergast is a writer, model, singer, television personality and professional magician’s assistant. We might be lying about one of those facts. Check out her official website or follow her on Facebook to find out which one.
Got a question for Adam and Tracy? Click here and fire away. If we use it…your life will immediately improve for the better.