A Video Collection of Seven Crazy Street Preachers

preacher

Well, as mentioned in today’s roundup of beers to enjoy on Judgment Day, the world will be ending this Saturday. It’s a bummer to be sure, but you have to admit, it’s exactly the way we all expected it to happen. Of course the world is going to end on a Saturday. That way, we get another full work week in. Hooray!

To celebrate this weekend’s apocalyptic tomfoolery, we put together this video gallery of crazy people doing what they do best…standing on the street and telling everyone who will listen about how they’re going to hell.

Smoke a Cigarette, Go to Hell

We’ve been assured that we’re going to hell for a lot of different reasons. But even for a hardened group of heathens like us, this is a new one. A street preacher in Chicago claims that just smoking a cigarette is enough to earn you a one way ticket to eternal damnation.

If that’s the case, we know a whole bunch of movie priests who will be mighty disappointed when they meet their maker.

Your Girlfriend is a Whore!

In this guy’s defense, we’ve met your girlfriend. He’s right, she really is kind of a whore. If nothing else, the guy on the receiving end of this sermon deserves to burn for wasting a perfectly good beer in such a carefree manner. There are sober kids in India who would kill for that, you wasteful jerk!

Get Wassssssssssted!

Speaking of beer, this guy is a Saturday Night Live skit just waiting to happen. The way he keeps asking this guy if he’s been getting wasted would make a perfect catchphrase for someone hoping to reboot the Church Lady franchise.

Jesus Ain’t Cool, Bro!

You have to love a good mob mentality. Basically, some religious group shows up on a college campus to save a few a souls. They aren’t saying anything too outrageous, but they aren’t slamming Natty Ice through a beer bong, so, you know, fuck that bro! Let’s rage!

God’s Rickroll

Few memes have the shut down power of the Rickroll. If you don’t know what a Rickroll is, we’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you to the Internet. We’re glad you decided to make The Smoking Jacket your first stop. Enjoy your stay, and remember, never open email attachments from people you don’t know.

God Hates Tom Brady

Bad news, students of FSU (Fornicators and Sodomites University), all of that football you watch is going to send you right to hell. Well, that and all the sodomy, of course. Just to be clear, this guy never mentions Tom Brady by name, the title of this entry is just an assumption on our part.

The Most Terrifying Pitch for Knowing Jesus Ever

Well this just isn’t fair. Religion should be a choice, not something that’s forced on a person. But how is anyone to resist the allure of Jesus when the message is being delivered by this adorable guy?

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