Condoms for Dummies (a.k.a., Everyone)

Sensis condomAnother new-fangled, fancy condom has hit the market, and thankfully it doesn’t involve any alarming gonorrhea-like burning sensations. Sensis condoms were created by Beau Thompson in an attempt to eliminate that awkward minute spent fumbling around in the dark with a rubber…. you know, the one that comes just when things are getting hot and heavy? There’s no denying that it’s a total buzzkill, but it’s one that can’t be avoided (unless you’re into STDs and fathering bastard children, that is).

Sensis condoms are designed to take some of the annoyance out of this moment, while also moving the process along more quickly. They feature patented pull-down QuikStrips that work like the strips you pull off of a band-aid. In addition, the QuikStrips have ridges that let you know which way side of the condom is up, even with the lights out, ensuring that you never put it on incorrectly—which, not surprisingly, is something that happens approximately 30 percent of the time.

Let’s face it: We’re talking about two people who are horny as hell and, more often than not, completely hammered and in a dark room. You might as well give a couple of deranged monkeys a condom packet and instruct them to use it properly. The success rate would probably be about the same. People tear them, puncture them, leave too much space at the top (insert small penis joke here), put them on with the wrong side facing out, the list goes on. Sensis condoms promise to eliminate this margin of error simply by making the whole procedure a no-brainer…. which is perfect since the brain-power of people on the verge of having sex is usually at an all-time low.