We here at the Smoking Jacket oppose domestic violence as much as the other 5 billion people on Earth who aren’t freaks. That said, a good portion of the public is missing out on an incredible artist because they refuse to separate the man from the music. Is it possible to enjoy a singer’s gifts, yet despise them personally? Hopefully, these five facts will convince you:
It Is Possible to Enjoy a Singer’s Gifts, Yet Despise Them Personally
Convinced? The cold reality is that the industry breeds manchildren. When you give a young person millions of dollars and worship them, their impetus to grow interpersonally is killed. Remember when they seized that warehouse owned by Michael Jackson for years, and they kept finding all that weird stuff in it. Not shocking at all: the guy had millions when he was, like, five-years-old. If we had a million dollars when we were five-years-old, you’d find a lot of crazy-ass stuff in our storage, too.
The list of people who have committed horrible atrocities, then touched millions with their musical arts is near endless. Bing Crosby, Dr. Dre, Barry White (he stole tires!). Hell, half the people we hired to be in the Smoking Jacket Tabernacle Choir are folks we met in prison. Naturally, these other artists’ atrocities do not mitigate the severity of Chris Brown’s issues. But if we’re going to start judging an artist’s work based on horrible things they did at the age of 19 (the age Chris Brown was when he flipped out on Rihanna), a lot of music history will need to be wiped out.
Chris Brown Is the Most Electric Male R&B Dance Act on the Planet
Let’s face it, ever since Little Michael died and Usher started hanging out with the Black Eyed Peas (now 25% whiter!), there’s been a void in the male “I can dance without looking too queer” performance industry.
Too long, didn’t watch: Chris Brown does a 5-minute MJ tribute, then balls his eyes out on stage for two really awkwardly long minutes.
The ironic part is, as nasty as he might be in person, this guy can make millions freak out with his dance moves. Not to mention he provided the soundtrack to one of the happiest viral videos of 2009:
Is “Forever” going to become a persistent reminder of human indecency, or a fitting backdrop to one of the most beautiful moments in life? The choice is solely up to the listeners.
Chris Brown Has To Try Really Hard
The guy gave up his “I just have to show up and cash a check” status two years ago. Since then, nearly every single performance he’s given, live or in concert, he’s had to bring it. If he comes out and acts like a lazy douchebag (i.e. every other R&B act), he might have a riot on his hands.
This effort shows tenfold in his videos. Every scene looks like it was brutally hard for him to make. He genuinely seems like he’s really trying… and that’s because he has to. In an industry dominated by nepotism, it is refreshing to see an artist have to earn each and every dollar:
Not to mention, he really has nothing to lose. This leads to some of his songs getting refreshingly experimental:
What other established artist would attempt such a bold move as rhyming “my dick,” with, “my dick,” then following it up with a poignant lyric concluding with the phrase, “my dick?” We’re only half-joking, here.
His Act Is Pleasantly Unpredictable
Those old enough to remember Ted Nugent shows know that they featured two things. First, everyone anxiously waiting for the ‘Nuge to play a half-hour version of “Stranglehold.” Second, everyone staring at him like the freaky kid on the playground, waiting to see what he’d do next. We remember a show where the Nuge had everyone in the audience spit in a cup, and then he drank it. Not since him and Ozzy has there been a musician who provides such a freak show.
Seriously, when was the last time anyone made “Good Morning, America” interesting? Chris Brown pepped up everyone’s morning by Trashing his dressing room and angrily confronting producers with his shirt off. People who bought tickets to Charlie Sheen’s show have a better chance of seeing a train wreck just following the Chris Brown talk show circuit.
Yahoo! Answers Is Over It, so You Pretty Much Have to Be
In terms of the Internet benchmarks for ultimate stupidity, Yahoo! Answers is in a close race against YouTube commenters. Yet, they seem to have a pretty realistic grasp of the situation. Keep in mind this is a forum that doesn’t fully understand why he beat her up (Their theory? She gave him herpes). So, if they’ve moved on, it pretty much means humankind has evolved past that point.
Let his actions serve as a reminder to seek counseling before things get out of control. But don’t let his actions serve as a reminder to ignore his body of work. The truth is, Chris Brown is phenomenal, and even this blind kid can see it: