Man Tries to Shoplift Chainsaw…In His Pants


Shoplifting is a lost art. These newbies have no style, no class. We could regale you with pages and pages of stories about how smooth and sly we were with our shoplifting techniques back in the day. Do you think this current generation of shoplifters will have any similar stories to tell? Of course not, they’re all a bunch of sloppy amateurs.

Take the guy in this story, for example. All he had to do was steal a chainsaw from a local hardware store. Even a novice shoplifter should know that this is a job that calls for the old “one person feigns a heart attack while the other casually walks out the door with the goods.” Who doesn’t know that? Well, not this guy apparently. Instead, he just tried to shove that shit right down his pants. Such a rookie mistake. Check out the story below, and prepare to face palm…