The annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain ended just a few weeks ago. A raucous gathering where tourists and locals alike flock to the streets all in the hopes of having a chance to run away from a beast that would enjoy killing them, the Running of the Bulls makes for some of the best viral videos one could hope to ever see.
Actually, if you put a bull pretty much anywhere that a large number of people are gathered and turn your video camera on, it’s a pretty safe bet something ugly will happen if you wait long enough.
While we wait for the newest batch of animal-on-human violence videos to trickle out of Spain, let’s take a look back at nine great moments in bulls dominating humans.
Beware of Falling Spectators
You really don’t need us to comment here. This video comes from one of those television shows that, a lot like this article, are just a compilation of wacky videos with some dude talking over them. So, you know, we’re taking this one off. If you can’t be bothered to watch the video, you’ll just have to live with knowing that you missed a chance to see a person fall at the absolute worst time imaginable.
Breaking News: You Got Knocked the F**k Out!
So, the obvious question here… what the hell was going on in the news the day this happened? The rocket scientist in this video manages to survive one attack from a clearly agitated bull, only to stumble around in a haze looking for his newspaper while the bull makes the rounds picking out new victims.
And then, the bull makes its way back to the star of this clip and, in a way only a bull can, reminds the gentleman that his newspaper is not that fucking important.
A View From Behind the Camera
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to catch a bull attack on camera? It would probably be a lot like this.
An “Attack” in India
Right, this is what happens when you decide that some animals are “sacred.” This footage comes from a beach in India, a nation where cows just kind of run the hell around doing whatever they want. In this case, whatever they want means muscling hotties off of their beach towels and just generally doing the type of cow-related shit you normally hope not to see at the beach.
David Hasselhoff never would have put up with this nonsense on his beach.
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Fence Pt. 1
Uh-oh! That bull looks angry! Let’s run into the stands and laugh at this lowly animal from a position of safet… HOLY SHIT IS THAT THING CLIMBING THE FENCE?!?!?!?
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Fence Pt. 2
Look at this little whippersnapper! Just coming right out of the gate at a full sprint. Yes, this is going to be a fine show indeed.
Hey…does it seem like that bull is running right at us? It knows we’re just spectators, right?
Streaking Past a Bull While Wearing a Red Shirt. Good Call?
Just what in the mother of fuck was this guy trying to accomplish. A group of people all seem to be vying for the attention of a bull, an animal that can and will kill you with violence, and for some reason this guy decides to outbid them all by streaking past wearing a bright red shirt.
No way will that end with the bull targeting this man as a threat, chasing him down and then tossing him around like a rag doll, leaving him to hastily exit the ring wearing no pants!
For Real, Wear Blue Next Time
Again, we’re just going to put it out there, don’t wear red around the bulls. Sure, maybe this guy is wearing red because it’s his job to attract the bull’s attention, but still, how awful is that job?
Dude is pretty damn good at it though. He takes a beating from an animal like a total champ.
Irony in Action
We won’t even mince words here, this is a brutal video. A brutal video that just happens to be jam packed with irony. This woman was present at this running of the bulls, but was not participating. In fact, she had taken a higher ground position to maintain her safety while, you know, there were bulls trampling people in the streets and stuff.
She was taking photos from her position of safety to document the abuse that these poor animals suffer at the hands of the people who promote and participate in these events. But as we’ve seen, bulls can totally reach higher ground when they’re feeling inspired, and when they get there, they apparently don’t give a damn about your animal activism.
On the bright side, this woman survived.
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