Blow Up Girls: A History of the Sex Doll

By Charlie Jones

EVER SINCE SEX WAS INVENTED, men have been trying to stick their wangs into things other than women. Eventually, this tendency has given rise to the sex toy industry, and to its most famous, modern substitute for all that human interaction nonsense – the sex doll. You would assume that sex dolls are a fairly recent invention, but it actually goes a little something like this…

Seventeenth Century – Dame de Voyage

Dame de voyage (French) or dama de viaje (Spanish) are the direct ancestors of modern balloon bimbos and were rudimentary sex dolls constructed out of women’s clothing stuffed with cotton or straw to be used by sailors during long sea voyages.

Modern researchers believe that these straw women might have actually been shared between the sailors due to the cramped conditions of the ship, so any such doll that was brought aboard would have probably been reduced, in a matter of hours, to a crumpled pile of second-hand clothes, body fluids, and shame.

But to make matters weirder (and 100 times sadder), there is actually some debate about whether the dames were used by common sailors or were only reserved for higher-ranking officers. So it is very possible that at one point in history a man has been told that he’s not good enough to have a go at an anthropomorphized wank rag… that has to be shared with a bunch of other guys.

No wonder those guys on the Bounty mutinied.

1941 – The Borghild Project

The ultra-double-top-secret Borghild Project was an attempt to build the world’s first completely life-like sex doll… by the Nazi army.

The Nazi high-command became interested in the idea after noticing that prostitutes in occupied France somehow managed to trick the Germans into sleeping with them in exchange for money, which caused frequent outbreaks of STDs like syphilis. Their solution was to instead provide the soldiers with government-issued, Nordic-looking “galvonoplastical dolls” (made from flesh-like rubber), with the key to making them attractive to the troops being “total slutiness.”

Ten different types of “wanton face” heads were prepared for the Borghild faux-woman to a) make it as universally trouser-tightening as possible, and b) keep the soldiers from wanting to marry the dolls. As one Dr. Hannussen wrote:

“The doll has only one purpose and she should never become a substitute for the honourable mother at home… When the soldier makes love to Borghild, it has nothing to do with love. Therefore the face of our anthropomorphic sex machine should be exactly how Weininger described the common wanton’s face.”

After a “presentation” of the doll in Berlin, Heinrich Himmler ordered 50 of them on the spot but unfortunately, due to the situation at the Eastern Front (i.e. Russian’s relentless desire to kick ass) the full scale production of the Borghild dolls was scrapped and the remaining models were eventually destroyed during a Dresden bombing.

Today – Gynoids, Grannies and Goddamn Aliens

Nowadays the sex doll market has adapted to the growing consumer needs and now basically covers every sexual preference and fetish imaginable, from dog dolls to alien and granny blow-up mates. Of course many of them are obviously gag gifts (yes… gag gifts…) which explains their poor quality and relatively low prices. But on the other end of the “Eeeew, human sex?” spectrum, there also exist sophisticated love dolls for that special brand of consumer with a fetish for valleys of the uncanny variety.

 

Her underwear are on sideways.

The most famous high-tech robo-sex-doll today would probably be ROXXXY, designed by pun-master Douglas Hines. ROXXXY boasts extreme human features, the ability to hold conversations, five different personalities and — in the most obvious example of not understanding your target audience since the X-large condom give-away at a Ferrari exhibition —being able to simulate a female orgasm. Most of Hines’ dolls range in price between $2-7,000, but they also come with a free spot on at least one government watch list.

The Future – “Dave… Where Are Your Pants…?”

So what does the future of sex dolls hold in store for us? Well, looking at the porn industry, the thing on everyone’s lips (and soon around other body parts) is the prospect of artificial intelligence for an enhanced assisted-masturbation experience. The XXX people are already looking into it and if those guys are involved, then intelligent sex-slave-droids cannot be far behind. Those few weeks before the AI dolls rebel and brutally justifiable murder our asses are going to be totally sweet.

Here’s a Japanese movie called “Air Doll” about a sex doll who comes to life:

 

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