Viral Outbreak: A Video About Living the “Black Lifestyle” in Japan

lifestyle

This is a video from Japan, which is a description on par with “a letter from the Unabomber” in terms of the potential danger that might come from viewing it. But in this case, the only thing exploding will be your head, figuratively speaking, we hope.

What you’re about to watch is a video about youths in Japan living the “black lifestyle.” It’s replete with wonderful captions and moments, like this one, for example…

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That’s right, not content to just dress like Eminem or something, the people of Japan take their co-opting of black culture very seriously. How seriously? This seriously…

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We’re not sure if you know this, but “for life” is quite a commitment. We know actual black people who aren’t this serious about being black. Japan does not fuck around.

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Somewhere, this girl’s elders are jamming steely blades directly into their stomachs. Anyway, being black isn’t easy in Japan. Call it the Land of the Rising Sun all you want, but the fact remains, Japanese chicks hate bright lights. Don’t take our word for that, though…

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See? Like a bunch of fucking mogwai. But an albino-like aversion to sunlight doesn’t have to mean you can’t be Japan’s answer to Nicki Minaj. Check it…

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Yep, that’s a quote about a tanning bed. It’s cool though…

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See, she’s fine! Tanning beds don’t cause cancer. WebMD begs to differ, but whatever. It’s a black thing. They don’t understand.

Luckily, the subject of this news report works at a department store located right across from a tanning salon. How great is that?

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She sure as hell looks happy. But let’s hear more about that tanning salon…

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Sure, we know that. Anything else?

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Gross. So, with a completely safe tan baked upon her fragile Japanese skin, our hero is off…

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Now, who’s excited to watch the video?

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We feel the exact same way. Let’s watch…

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