If beer drinking was an art, and surely it is, some are amateurs and some are masters. No matter how you slam it, drinking a beer doesn’t have to be boring. Whether you’re shotgunning a brew, opening the bottle with your eye, or flipping off the cap with a woman’s breast, knocking back a cold one is your chance to tell the world who you are. It’s about beer, it’s about tricks, it’s about the American Dream.
Here are eight of the most entertaining beer tricks around.
Open a Beer with Your Boob
There are many ways to open a beer. Use a bottle opener. Use the corner of a counter. Pry it off with your teeth. But the young woman in this video is really on to something when she shows off how she can open a beer with her right breast. Some people think boobs have limited functions: sweater meat, breast-feeding, looking pretty. Thankfully, now we all know that ta-tas are really beer cap-removers in disguise.
Down That Brew
A lot of guys think they can knock one back with the best of them, chug a beer faster than the next dude, but the guy in this video is like the David Blaine of beer slamming. He makes this beer disappear faster than the circus lady deep throats. The trick is killing the gag reflex and not swallowing. Instead, open the throat and pour beer directly into stomach for maximum head rush.
Girls Like Bongs
One of the most important videos of our time to have emerged since “2 Girls 1 Cup” has to be “2 Girls 1 Beer Bong.” Ingredients? Two hot blondes, a beer bong, face paint, a video camera, and beer. It’s girl-on-girl-on-bong action that results in a masterpiece of videography and a pair of young women with a serious buzz. The only problem is what happens when her parents find out she’s famous on the Internet for her ability to make out with a plastic tube and her best friend.
Beer Bottle Rube Goldberg
The second most key question regarding beer — the first being: do we have any? — is what to do with the bottles when you’re done with them. Maybe you think you’re cool because you have a shelf lined with several dozen beer bottles that symbolize your ability to party. One day, you think, you’ll turn those bottles into a really cool Rube Goldberg machine. Sadly, your beer bottle dominoes will never, ever be as epically awesome as the one created by these young men.
My Eye for a Cold One
Americans pride themselves on their patriotism. As a nation, there are special things we feel strongly about: cherry pie, free speech, and a democratic society. Also, we like to show off all the different ways we can open beers, ideally not using our hands. Here, a fellow demonstrates how to pop the cap off a cold one with his eye socket. Because nothing says “God bless America” like an eyeful of Coors.
Shotgun Beer Trick
The first part of shotgunning a bear is removing your shirt. After that, put on your coat. Then flip up the hood. Now that you are ready to shotgun your beer, take said beer, tilt the can, and locate the air bubble inside. With one quick punch of your thumb, you can puncture the can without slicing open your digit. For your finale, suck the beer out of the can. Do not wonder why you didn’t just open the beer and drink it like a normal person.
The Michael Jordan of Beer Pong
When are they going to make beer pong an Olympic event? Tragically, probably not anytime soon. That doesn’t mean that great athletes in beer pong playing aren’t training hard in their mothers’ basements, dreaming of a day when their gift for tossing a ping pong ball into a plastic cup will catapult them into hops-based infamy. No matter how tight your beer pong game is, these beer pongists could crush you. Their mothers must be so proud.
Toss That Beer, Son
The real takeaway here when it comes to beer tricks is that your trick doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t have to shotgun it, you don’t have to do a magic trick with it, and you don’t have to use a girl’s boobs to do it (although, we’re not going to stop you). Some beer tricks are best admired for their simplicity. On a lazy afternoon, it’s just you, that drink flying through the air, and a nice cold airmailed beer.