Ask TSJ: Why Am I a Dick to Everyone?


LIFE IS HARD. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help. TSJ’s editor, Melissa Bull, and Headshots’ columnist, Mike Spry, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”

This week’s incredible question comes from our friend Francis. And you know how they say a friend in need is a friend indeed.

hey tsj,

i’m realizing i was kind of a dick to everyone i dated. what should i do about it now?




neon cowboy

Hey Mick,

This happens to single men in their 40s, which I assume includes you. An epiphany of sorts. All of a sudden, their singledom makes sense. Thing is, most dudes are dicks, but some luck out with chicks anyway. Life’s a bitch.

But there’s a fix. Excessive masturbation.


The fix is to learn form your mistakes, to finally become a man, and treat the next lady, like a lady.




neon cowgirl

Hey my friend,

One, I like that you go with “Mick” as a nickname. That’s cool.

Two, re: your I was an ass Q: Damned if I know.

Be a peach. If you see your exes around town, say something sweet and/or humble-nice to them. If you don’t, let sleeping dogs lie. Make a resolution that this year you’ll be really swell to everyone you dump. Pay it forward! To yourself!



Got a question for Melissa and Mike? CLICK HERE and fire away. If we use it… your life will improve immediately.