Ask TSJ: So My Daughter Wants to Be a Stripper

LIFE IS HARD. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help. TSJ’s editor, Melissa Bull, and Playboy Manager, Daniel Richard, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”

This week’s incredible question comes from a TSJ reader named “Joe”.

Dear TSJ,

I had a kid when I was real young, and she’s a great kid. She lives in the same town as her mom, so I don’t see a lot of her, but I’ve tried my best to be a good dad over the years, sending her magazine subscriptions and whatnot her way. And now my little girl is all grown up — she just turned 18! But instead of going to college, she told me she wants to be a stripper. I want to support her — she tells me this is what all her girlfriends are doing and they make a ton of cash and stuff. But I feel like maybe this might not be a great idea. Also, all my old friends from high school live in her town and now they’re gonna see her naked and stuff. What’s a cool dad to do?

Joe

FROM DAN

Dear Joe,

As a father, you have one ultimate mission in life that stands above all others. Let’s not confuse your mission as a father versus your responsibilities as a parent. You are of course responsible for her shelter, feeding your daughter, education, guidance and everything that comes in between. BUT, your mission, the ONLY mission you have, is to KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER OFF THE POLE!

Joe, your daughter is 18, she is most definitely NOT all grown up… she doesn’t know shit about shit, she’s confused and has no idea what she’s getting in to. Man up, stop trying to be her friend and be her father for the love of everything that is holy and put her back on track to maximize her chances of graduating with a degree and giving her a meaningful career that will secure her livelihood beyond the years her body can maintain a stripper’s physique. Kids generally think education is a waste of time and planning their future doesn’t go much beyond deciding on what to eat for dinner. You’re supposed to know better.

- Dan

FROM MELISSA

So Joe,

Hey that’s so cool your little princess wants to be a stripper! You must have been a really awesome dad to have your kid be seeking sexual approval from strange men for money! Kudos, bro!

The bigger question isn’t just your friends seeing your kid grinding up against the bar furniture, but what if you go watch and you like it? Is that making up for all the years you weren’t there for her or is it just a little too cozy? Sometimes it’s hard to tell, isn’t it, smartypants.

Tell her to brush up on her stripper movies so she has a nice routine ready for the tryout judges.

A mere sampling, below. Best ‘o luck to you and yours.

Truly,
Melissa

Showgirls

Striptease

Flashdance

Dusk Till Dawn

Powder Blue

 

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Ask TSJ: “Born-Again Virgin” Wants to Get Some
Ask TSJ: Am I in Touch with Aliens? 
Ask TSJ: Lovin’ Up on Non-human Mammals
Ask TSJ: I Want to Be a Porn Star
Ask TSJ: Blacking Out + Waking Up in Weird Places

 

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